"I'm gonna teach your ass how to read." This article/section is typed directly as it is represented in-game and therefore may have spelling errors. Please do not correct spelling mistakes unless it is not as it appears in-game.

A list of Coach's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

• [Reading CEDA's instructons while in the store] "'Report unusual behavior'… 'Barricade your homes'… 'Avoid all contact with infected individuals'… 'Wait for official instructions'." [crumples paper, throws it away] "Huh! Wait, my ass." [bites the chocolate bar]
  • Ellis: Kill all sons-a-bitches. [cocks shotgun] That's my 'fficial instructions.
• [Killing an Infected at Whispering Oaks] "This used to be a nice neighborhood!"
• [Stopping for a break at a stairwell in The Vannah] "Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of goddamn stairs.?"
  • Nick: "Come on, Coach... Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate…"
• [As the group watches the fleeing helicopters flying from on the hotel roof; angrily] "Thought they were supposed to be savin' our asses?"
  • Nick: "Looks like there's been a change of plans."
• [Using a chainsaw to free Ellis from a Smoker and some Common Infected] "Goddamn it! Eat that shit!"
• [Tossing a gas can at the Infected at the Peach Bowl] "Yeah!"

General

• "Alright, let's put on our game faces! They're comin'!"
• "Goddamn it, I knew I shoulda lost some weight!"
• "Alright, everybody, you are giving 110%."
• "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit..."

Chapter Completed

No Casualties

• "Whoo! We cool!"
• "Ahhhhh! HAHAHA!"
• "Baby, that's how it's done!"
• "Oh, hell yeah!"
• "We... destroy... zombies! That is what we do!"
• "Yeah!"

With Casualties

When one Survivor dies

• "That shit was crazy"
• "That was some close-ass shit."
• "We just made that."
• "Hey, I was bettin' on the other guys! Ha ha ha!"
• "Man said, any fight you walk away from is a win."
• "Let's put it behind us. We good, we good."
• "Touchdown!"
• "They played us tough."
• "That was some epic shit right there."
• "All right. We all right, y'all. We made it."

When two die

• "That shit was too goddamn close."
• "We almost didn't make it."
• "That was a little too close."
• "Damn, I can't be all that's left."
• "We got sloppy out there."
• "I know we can do better than that."
• "Man. That got bad."

Interrupting Ellis's stories

• "We ain't got time for this, Ellis."

Commands

These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z, X, or C keys.

Yes

• "Fo' sure."
• "Sho, sho."
• "Yes."
• "Yeah."
• "Know that's right."
• "Positively."

No

• "No."
• "Oh, hell no."
• "Excuse me?"
• "N-O."
• "No thank you."
• "Nope."
• "Uh-uh."
• "Ain't gonna happen."
• "Hell no."
• "Shit naw!"
• "No!"
• "You crazy?"
• [to Ellis] "Ahhh hell no, boy."
• [to Rochelle] "Nahh, girl. Mn-mnnn.

"Hurrah"

• "THAT is how you kick some zombie ASS!"
• "THAT was outstanding!"
• "Oh, hell yeah!"
• [To Ellis] "Ya, boy!"
• "Those things ain't shit!"
• "We got this!"
• "We are kicking their ass!"
• "We're gonna be okay!"
• "We got up on their shit!"
• "WE are kicking some zombie ASS!"
• "Alright, everybody, you are giving 110%."
• "Yeah! You are a great bunch!"
• "We cool?!"
• "Mmmn... All right."
• "We're gonna be alright!"
• "We're gonna do this!"
• "That's how we do it!"
• "Baby, that's how it's done!"
• "Yeah. Sho you right."
• "That's what's up, baby."

Hurry

• "Hurry!"
• "Hurry up."
• "Haul some ass, y'all!"
• "You best hop to it."
• "All right, people, you best hop to it."
• "Move your damn asses!"

Let's Go

• "Let's get it on."
• "We gonna put up tents and shit, or keep moving?"
• "Alright, let's go."
• "Come on people, let's get with it."

Look

Looking At Survivor

Nick

• "Nick."
• "Hey, suit."
• "Nick..."
• "Nicolas!"
• "Sir."
• "Nicky!"
• "NI-colas!"

Rochelle

• "Rochelle."
• "Excuse me, sweetie."
• "Sweetheart."
• "Hey, girl!"
• "Uh, girl?"
• "Girl."
• "Ro!"
• "Miss."
• "Sweetie!"

Ellis

• "Ellis."
• "Young'un."
• "Boy!"

Nearby Target

• "Check this shit out!"
• "Look at this."
• "What do y'all make of this?"

Distant Target

• "Look!"
• "Over there!"

Argh

• "Oh, shit."
• "Damn!"
• "Hell no!"
• "Goddamn it!"
• "What the f-"
• "Nnnnhhhhh!"
• "What the f- Uuugh!"

General negative reactions

• "Shit."
• "What the f-"
• "Damn!"
• "Man, this is about to get all Baghdad and shit.."
• "Oh hell, this about to get bad."
• "Hell no."
• "Nhhhhhh."
• "Goddamn it!"
• "Shiiit."
• "What the?"
• "Bullshit."
• "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!"
• "Goddamn!"
• "Son of a bitch."

Taunt

• "Ahhhhh! HAHAHA! Oh, hell yeah!"
• (Laughs) Hoooo! "Goddamn right!"
• "Ooh! How'd ya like me now, hmph!"
• "Awriiight!"
• "Hell yeah! AHAHA!"
• "Ahhhhh! HAHAHA!"

Follow Me

• "C'mon, let's go, damn it!"
• "C'mon, y'all, this way!"
• "C'mon, this way!"
• "Follow me!"
• "This way!"
• "Y'all stay close!"

You Lead The Way

• "C'mon let's go!"
• "I'll follow you."
• "I'm following you."
• "Alright! I'm with you!"
• "Lead on, man."

Ready

• "Good to go."
• "Ready?"
• "Everyone ready for this shit?"
• "You kids ready?"
• "We ready?"
• "We all ready?"
• "Everybody ready?"
• "Hey! We ready to get it on?"
• "We ready to get it on?"

"Wait"

• "Rest your ass for a sec."
• "Stop!"
• "Slow down, damn."

Thank you

• "Thanks."
• "THANKS!"
• "Alright thanks."
• "Thanks, we straight?"
• "Thanks, man!"

Good/Nice Job

• "Nice."
• "Nice work."
• "Alright, doin' good."
• (laughter) "Burn that shit!"
• "Way to go!"
• "Alright, alright, not bad, not bad!"
• "You on it!"
• "You beat em."
• "Ooh, hoo hoo, all right!"
• "Dang, good one!"
• "That there was nice work."
• "Damn, I'm impressed!"
• "Nice shot!"
• "Good one!"
• "You nailed it!"
• "All right now, you're in charge!"

(To Ellis) 

• "Nice shot, young'un."
• "Alright now yeah! You got it boy!"
• "Ellis! Nice shot!"

(To Rochelle)

• "Alright girl!"
• "Ro! That was a nice shot!"

(To Nick)

• "Nice kill Nick!"

(To Louis)

• "All right Louis, keep tearing 'em up!"
• "Louis in the house!"

(To Francis)

• "Thanks, Francis!"
• "Nice shot, Francis!"

(To Zoey)

• "Go Zoey!"
• "Keep it up, Zoey!"

Killing a Special Infected without any survivor taking damage from it

• "Got it!"
• "Hit it!"
• "I got it!"
• "Dead!"
• "Pow! Got it!"
• "It's down."
• "That one's mine!"
• [If Ellis takes credit for the assist]
  • Ellis: "I got it."
  • Coach: "What? Oh, hell no, boy! That was me!"
  • Ellis: "That was me, right there!"
  • Coach: "Bullshit."

Health related

When low on Health

• "This here is some serious bullshit."
• "This ain't how I thought this would go."
• "I can walk this shit off."
• "Ah..."
• "Damn, they messed me up."
• "I'm goin' as fast as I can."
• "Man, this shit hurts."
• "Man said there was nothing to worry about. Well, bullshit."
• "Ya'll crazy if you don't think this hurts."
• "Shit, I'm messed up."
• "It hurts, but ain't nothin'."
• "This shit ain't pretty."
• "Ah, damn it."
• "Man, this right here hurts somethin' fierce."
• "This is some outrageous shit."
• "Crazy sons-a-bitches messed me up."
• "Damn. They beat me good."
• "They beat my ass fair and square."
• "Ahh, damn it now."
• "No pain, no gain. I must be about to gain some serious shit."
• "I ain't ready to lay down yet."
• "Hey. Now this here is some bullshit."
• "I'm gonna get right."
• "I can walk this off."
• "I ain't dead yet."
• "Tryin' to walk this off..."
• "I shoulda learned to drive a tank or some shit."
• "Man, those zombies beat my ass."

Black and White

• "I need to get right."
• "Shit, I ain't gonna make it."
• "I'm just gonna admit it, I need some help."
• "Come on, pull it together, man. You can make it through this shit."

When another survivor is low on health

• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center] "This would be the time to heal up."
• "Now's a good time to heal if you can."
• "If you got a health kit you should use it."
• [When most survivors are low on health] "We oughta heal up while it's quiet."
• "Heal if ya got em."
• "This ain't about me, people. Let's heal up."
• [To Ellis] "Ellis, time for you to heal, boy."
• "All right, Ellis, come on now, get yourself right."
• "Hey, Ellis, that health kit ain't gonna use itself."
• [To Nick] "Nick, don't be stupid, heal up."
• "Nicolas, I think it is time for you to heal."
• "Nick, you should use that kit on yourself."
• "Nick, it's all right, we all gotta heal sometime."
• [To Rochelle] "Ro, time to heal."
• "Ro, heal up, hear me, girl?"
• "Girl, time for you to heal up."
• "Hey, girl, why don't you heal up?"

Low on health while the other survivors are in the safe room

• "I hear ya! I'm movin'."
• "Can't go no faster."
• "I'm just gonna admit it, I need some help."
• "I'm hurt too bad to go any faster."

When revived by a survivor

• "I'm cool."
• "It's all good."
• "Hell yeah, it hurts."
• "Yeah, it hurts."
• "I'm good, I'm good."
• "What in the hell do you think?"
• "Oh, shit."
• "Hook me up."
• "Hurry it up."
• "They better name a school after me for this shit."
• "Help me up and I can walk this off."
• "Ain't gonna be nothing left of me."
  • [after other survivor's response] "I'm just screwin with ya."
• "I see ya looking at my shoes."
• "What ya tellin me, man?"
• "I've been worse."
• "What do you mean?"
• "I'm okay."
• "Ain't nothin'."
• "I can walk it off."
• "Okay."
• "Good enough."
• "Just get me up."
• "Man, been better, been better."
• "Can't lie, been better."
• "Damn, this shit hurts."
• "Don't like bein' on the ground."
• "I'm hurtin down here."
• "Well, I ain't on my back for nothin'."
• "Man, how the hell you think I'm doin'?"
• "I'm fine, but let's not waste time chit-chattin'."
• "I'm good."
• "I'll live... most likely."
• "Tell you what, ain't my best day."

When defibrillating someone

• "C'mon, c'mon!"
• "Clear!"
• "Don't you die on me..."

Being revived with the Defibrillator

• "Agh, damn it! You're shockin' me!"
• "Aw, hell, I'm back here."
• [spits, then groans] "You didn't do the mouth-to-mouth on me, did you?"
• [If revived by Rochelle] "Girl, you're electric."

Reviving Someone

Reviving A Survivor (Under A Horde Attack)

• "Come on now! Get ya ass up."
• "We ain't got time for this, get up."
• "Let's get you ass up."
• "Oh, shit, come on, get up."
• "Come on now, ain't got time for this, get up."
• "Get your ass up! Get up!"
• "Get up! Come on now. Get. Up!"

Reviving Another Survivor

• "Don't mean to be pickin' on ya, but y'all look like shit."
• "What we got here? Ain't nothin'. Ya good."
• "You ain't right, but let's get ya up and movin'."
• "Let's get ya up and take a look at ya. Yeah, yeah, you good."
• "Damn, they beat ya ass good didn't they? I get ya up though."
• "You for real? You gonna stay down with a little scratch like that? Get up!"
• "Let's get ya ass up, a little nick ain't no reason to give up."
• "Come on, man, don't shit yourself over this. You gonna be okay. Let me get ya up."
• "Down and give me 20. Just foolin', let's get ya back up on your feet."
• "No time to be gentle. Let's get you up on your feet."
• "Come on now, what you goin' on about? You're gonna make it. Let's get you up."

Talking

• "Where that put you at?"
• "They put a hurtin on ya."
• "What we got here?"
• "You dead?"
• "You good?"
• "Gonna lay there all day?"
• "So what happened?"
• "They end you?"
• "This it for you?"
• "You right?"
• "You wanna stay down?"
• "You okay?"
• "You gonna make it?"
• "Everything okay?"
• "How you feel?"
• "You straight?"
• "What we got here?"
• "Talk to me. You cool?"
• "You all right?"
• "All right, good."
• "Walk it off."
• "You okay."
• "You look good."
• "Come on now."
• "Now, you're back in business."
• "Up we go."
• "You good."
• "You're doin' fine."
• "This don't look bad."
• "Can't lose you now, can we?"
• "See you're gonna make it."
• "Told ya. Wasn't nothing."
• "All right, let's finish what we started."
• "All right now, we're back in business."
• [Reviving Ellis] "Let's go, Ellis."
• [Reviving Nick] "Back at 'em, Nick."
• [Reviving Rochelle] "Can't lose my favorite girl."
• [If the survivor went down because of Coach's friendly fire] "If this had anything to do with me, I do apologize. Let's get you back up."
• "Ah hell, I'm sorry. Ain't used to all this shootin and runnin' around."
• "Ah hell, I'm sorry. Ain't used to all this shootin and runnin' around. At least not the runnin' around."

Reviving Another Survivor (Black and White)

• "You might want to make your peace. You hurt bad. One more time and that is it for ya."
• "They keep jumpin your shit and you keep goin' down. One more time and that's it."
• "You gonna be okay... Ah, nah, nah, I can't lie to ya. Go down again and that's it for ya."
• "You look like one of those dudes in a drivin' school film. This may be it for ya."
• "I ain't clownin' when I say this, but you better not go down again, cause that be it for ya."
• "I gotta be straight with ya. You gonna die if you go down again, you understand?"
• "You gonna want to make peace, my man. You go down again and you ain't gettin' back up."

When healing another Survivor

• "Stop squirmin', I'm gonna heal ya."
• "Hold up y'all, I'm gonna heal your ass."
• "Hold up now, I'll fix ya."
• "Shit, they beat ya good, let me heal ya."
• "Quit fussin', I'll heal ya."
• "Goddamn it, quit fussin' and let me heal ya."
• "All right, hang on, this might sting a bit."
• [Dead Center Only]"Quit squirming, or I might mess this up."
• "Stand still now, 'cause I ain't used to doin' this."
• "I hope this makes you feel better. Ain't sure what I'm doin'."
• [Healing another survivor while in combat] "Hold on! Hold on!"
• "Let me heal your shit."
• "Let me heal ya now."
• "Lemme heal ya!"
• "Hold up, I'll fix ya."
• "Stand still, I'm healin' ya!"
• (To Ellis) "Young'un, keep shootin' while I do this."

Rochelle Dies

• "Rochelle!"
• "Ro!"
• "Rochelle."
• "Ah, baby girl, goodbye."
• "Oh, Ro, oh, Ro, man..."
• "Ah, baby girl, mmm."
• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center] "Gentlemen, we just lost the best thing in our little group."
• "Damn. Baby, I should have tried to protect you more."

Ellis dies

• "Boy, I'm going to miss your goofy ass."
• "Bye, Ellis."
• "Damn, Ellis!"
• "Ellis!"
• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center] "Ah, damn it, I can't take losing anymore people."
• "Little man, we are goin' to miss you."

Nick dies

• "Nick, you gonna be missed."
• "Nick!"
• "Nicolas."
• "Bye, Nick."
• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center] "Nick, we're gonna miss your gun."
• "Damn. Nick, this just got a whole lot harder."

While healing himself

• "Hold on, y'all, I gotta heal."
• "Cover me for a sec, I gotta heal."
• "Hold up, healin'."
• "Hey man, hold up, healin'."
• "Healing! Hold on a sec."
• "Give me a minute, gotta heal."
• "Shit, gotta heal my ass."
• "Hold on, y'all, I'm healing."
• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center] "Hold up, gotta try and heal myself."
• "Wait up, gonna try and use this thing."
• "Man, no idea how this thing works."
• "Hold up, gotta try and heal myself."
• Ellis: "Oh, now, Coach, you look like you've done this before."
• Coach: "I ain't never done this before." / "Hell, no, I ain't never done this before."

Inside the Rescue Closet

• "Hey, y'all, I need some help in here!"
• "I'm trapped in here."
• "Anyone out there? I could use some help!"
• "Come on, people, let me out of here!"
• "Hello! Anyone out there?"
• "Y'all ain't thinkin of leavin' me behind are ya?"
• "Need some help, can't get myself out of here."
• "Can anyone hear me?"
• "I need some help in here!"
• "Come on, y'all, I need to get out of here."
• "Hey, y'all, we're a team! Come get me!"
• "Ain't none of my business what y'all doin' out there. But get me when you're done."
• "Holler back at me when you're ready to get me."
• "Can y'all hear me? I'm trapped in here!"
• "Hey, I'm too big of a man for this little closet!"
• "Never had no call to ask for help before, but I do now. Help!"

When hanging off a ledge

• [When Coach just started hanging] "Ah, shit, need a hand."
• "This is screwed up, y'all. I need some help."
• "Shit, I fucked (effed) this up, can you help me out?"
• "Hey, y'all, I fell off the damn ledge."
• [Starting to have trouble hanging] "Goddamn it, I knew I shoulda lost some weight."
• "Man, shit's gettin' old, help!"
• "Look, somebody wanna pull me up?"
• "Hey! I'm still hanging here!"
• [About to fall] "All right, shit! I'm gonna fall!"
• "Hey, I can't hold on anymore!"
• "Help me up already!"

Saving a survivor hanging off a ledge

• "Oh, shit, look at ya. Let me help you up."
• "I got ya, I got ya."
• "Damn, this shit's messed up, you're gonna hurt yourself hangin' there."
• "What do you say we get your ass up off this here ledge?"
• "Easy, let me help ya up now, 'cause I ain't gonna go get your ass if you fall."

When a survivor dies

• "We can do this, man, we can do this."
• "Ooooh! We gotta pull our shit together."
• "Damn. This here is all we got."

When there are only two survivors left

• "Stay close, we're a party of two."
• "Shit! It's just you and me! Hang tough." (2 versions)
• "Shit! Just us two left. Stay close!"
• "Ain't no one else but you and me left."

Friendly Fire

• "Oh, excuse me?! Excuse me?!"
• "Where in the hell ya think you're shootin'?"
• "Watch where you're shooting!"
• "Cut that shit out!"
• "I swear to God, you can't shoot worth shit!"
• [Rarely]"There's gonna be some biblical shit happenin' to you if you do that again!"
• [Rarely]"Shoot me again, and you gonna be meetin' your maker right soon."
• "Let's not all start shootin' each other, now."
• "Man, I swear to God, you can't shoot worth shit!"
• [Rarely]"Damn it, that hurt!"
• "Shootin' me? That's some crazy shit."
• "You do know you shootin' me, right?"
• "Look, try shootin' some damn zombies instead of me!"
• "Are you outta your mind shootin' at me?"
• "Will you cut that shit out?"
• "Yo! Stop shooting me, all right?"
• "Y'all got to stop shootin' me!"
• "Goddamn it, stop shootin' me!"
• "Ah, hell no. Do not shoot me."
• "Come on now, seriously." (2 versions)
• "Stop shooting me."
• "Don't be shooting me."
• "You are shooting me!"
• "That's some bullshit!"
• "Do that again and I'll come back on you."
• "You shot me!"
• "Man, you shot me?"
• "Young'un, stop that shit."
• "Now come on now, let's put some effort into this."
• "Work as a team, people, work as a team."
• "Come on, y'all, none of that."
• [Only in the beginning of Dead Center]
  • "Y'all need to focus!"
  • "Listen, y'all, we need to pull together as a team."
  • "I'm trying to tell you, shooting each other is not helping each other."
  • "Y'all shootin' me."
  • "Let's not be shootin' each other, people."
  • "Stop! I am getting pissed off!"
• [To Nick]
  • "Nicolas! I thought you knew how to use a gun."
  • "Nick! You shot me!"
  • "Hey, Nick—that was my ass you shot."
  • "Quit shootin' me, Nick!"
• [To Ellis]
  • "Boy, quit pointing that thing my way."
  • "Ellis! Settle down, boy. Ya shot me!"
  • "Ellis! I'll take that gun away from ya!"
  • "Ellis, you are shooting me!"
  • "Ellis, damn it, you shot me!"
  • "Ah, hell no, boy. Don't you be shootin' me."
• [To Rochelle]
  • "Ro, quit shootin' me."
  • "Rochelle, girl, you shot me."
  • "Ro, what's gotten into you, girl?"
  • "Ro, you know damn well better than that."
  • "Little sister, you gotta learn to shoot."
  • "Girl, you gotta learn to shoot."
• [while fighting a Tank]
  • "Don't shoot me! Shoot the Tank!"
  • "Not me, Ellis! Shoot the Tank!"
  • "Shoot the Tank, (Ro/Nick)!
  • "Do I look like a ten-foot-tall monstuh?!"
  • "Hey, shoot the Tank!"
  • "Aggghh, the Tank!"

Incapacitated

• "Shit! Need some help!"
• "Ah, shit! I'm down!"
• "Help!"
• "Hey, y'all, I need some help."
• "Could use some help over here."
• "Get ya ass over here and help me!"

Teammate killed by friendly fire

• "Whoa, that there's some screwed up shit!"
• "Hey! Y'all gotta watch where you're aimin' that thing!"
• "Man, are you wrong in the head shootin' like that?!"
• "What the hell are you on, shootin' like that?"
• "What the ef?! Don't be doin' that!"
• "Hey! Don't be doin' that!"
• "Boy, you ain't got any sense in the head, do you?!"
• "You try that shit on me and you'll be wishin' your momma never met ya father."
• "Keep goin' at 'em like that and you gonna be the last man on Earth."

Alone

• [When no other survivor is in the approximate area]
  • "Where you all at?!"
  • "Hello?!"
  • "Hey! Anyone out there?!"
  • "Holler back at me, folks!"
• [When two or three Survivors meet up]
  • "I'm here!"
  • "Hello!"
  • "Hey, I'm here!"
• [all four Survivors reunite]
  • "All right. We're all here!"
  • "We're all here!"

Survivor complains about low health

• "They put a hurtin' on ya, but ain't no thing."
• "Come on now, put it behind ya, you good, you good."
• "Hey. Listen to me, you are gonna make it."
• "Stay with us."
• "Come on, it's all you."
• "Come on, young'un, if I can do it, you can do it."
• "Come on now, put it all out there."
• "Come on now, walk that shit off."
• "Come on now, keep it up, keep it up."
• "That's it. Yeah. Fight through it."
• "Keep it up, come on, keep it up, keep it up. You're gonna make it."
• (If Nick complains)
  • "Nick, ain't gonna leave ya man."
  • "Nick, at least you dressed for a funeral."
• (If Rochelle complains)
  • "Come on, girl, we ain't gonna leave you behind." (2 versions)
  • "I know you got it in ya, girl, keep at it."
• (If Ellis complains)
  • "Come on, Ellis. Ya got it in ya."
  • "All right Ellis, c'mon now, get yourself right."

Weapon related

General

• "Guns!"
• "Weapons!"
• "Alright, guns!"
• "We got guns!"
• "Weapons here!"
• "Weapons over here!"

Magnum

• "This right here'll mess some shit up."

Pipe Bomb

• [Seeing] "Pipe bombs!"
• "Pipe bombs here!"
• "Got a pipe bomb here."
• "Pipe bomb!"
• "Pipe bomb for me."
• [Taking] "Grabbing a pipe bomb!"
• "Ya, boy!"
• "Oh, shit yeah."
• [Throwing] "Fire in the hole!"
• "Grenade!"
• "Grenade, comin' at ya!"

Molotov

• [Seeing] "Molotovs!"
• "Molotovs here!"
• "Molotovs over here!"
• [Taking] "Grabbin' me a Molotov."
• [Throwing] "Fire in the hoooole!"
• "Grenade!"

Bile Bomb

• [Seeing] "Boomer bile here!" (2 versions)
• "Bottle of, ugh... puke here!"
• [Taking] "Grabbin' puke!" [sometimes followed by] "I cannot believe I just said that."
• "Grabbin' a bile jar!" (2 versions)
• [Throwing] "Heads up!" (2 versions)
• "Incoming!"

Submachine Gun

• "Pat at tat tat!"
• "Grabbing a machinegun."
• "Guess I'll take this here machine gun."

Assault Rifle

• "I got the assault rifle."
• "Gonna take the assault rifle."

AK-47

• "Shit. Shoulda taught this class."
• "Ah hell. Gonna set some things right with this shit."

Grenade Launcher

• "I tell ya, it's gonna be raining zombie pieces."
• "Damn, this shit looks dangerous."
• "All right now, this is gonna blow some shit up."
• "All right now, let's blow some shit up."
• "Man, it's gonna be raining zombie parts."
• "Grenade Launcher here."
• "Goddamn... Grenade Launcher!"

Chrome Shotgun/Combat Shotgun/Pump Shotgun

• "This shotgun'll work."
• "Grabbin' a shotgun."

Tactical Shotgun

• "Oh, hell yeah, I'm takin' an autoshotgun.
• "Autoshottie is mine."
• "This shotgun will put the hurt on them zombies."

Hunting Rifle/Sniper Rifle

• "Gonna scope some Smoker ass with this."
• "Pow! I'm gonna snipe some bitches. Ha ha!"
• "Pow! Some bitches gonna get sniped!“

M60

• "Shit! This is heavy."
• "This is some goddamn firepower!"

Explosive Ammo

• [Seeing] "Explosive rounds here!"
• [Taking] " All right now, let's blow some shit up."
• "Yes."
• "For sure!"
• [Deploying] "Deploying frag rounds!"

Incendiary Ammo

• [Seeing]"Got some incendiary ammo!"
• "Fire bullets here!"
• [Taking] "Boo-yeah!"
• "Let's burn some shit up!"
• [Deploying] "Everyone, grab some incendiary ammo!"
• "Deploying Fire bullets!"

Laser Sights

• "Got some laser sights here."
• "Laser sights here."

Cricket Bat

• "I'm gonna paddle the shit outta something."
• "Paddle bat here."
• "Got a paddle bat."

Machete

• "Got a machete."
• "Machete here."

Nightstick

• "I am gonna smack some shit with this."
• "Nightstick here."
• "Grabbing a nightstick."

Katana

• "Ninja sword here."
• "Shit, I'd pay cash money for this."
• "Grabbing a sword."

Crowbar

• "Crowbar."
• "Any crates around here?"
• "Grabbing a crowbar."

Guitar

• "Guitar here."
• [During Concert Finale] "Grabbin' a guitar"

Chainsaw

• [Seeing] "Chainsaw here."
• "Got a chainsaw!"
• [Rampaging] "Eat that shit!"
• "How you like that?!"
• "How it feel, huh?!"
• "Yeah!"
• "Chew on that!"
• "All right!"
• "Grrrrrrr!"
• "Grrrrr! Yeah!"
• "Whoo! Yeah, baby!"

Reloading

• "Reloadin'!"
• "Reloading!"
• "Gotta reload!"
• "I'm reloading!"
• [After taking heavy damage] "Re-goddamn-loading!"

Item Related

Pills

• [Seeing]
  • "Pills here!"
  • "We got pills!"
  • "Anyone need some pills?"
• [Picking up]
  • "Damn right, gonna take everything I can."
  • "This shit'll help."
  • "I'm grabbing pills." (2 versions)
  • "I know one thing, I'm grabbing pills."
  • "I got the pills!"

Adrenaline

• [Seeing]
  • "Adrenaline shot here!"
• [Picking up]
  • "Grabbin' a shot!"

When taking Pills or Adrenaline

• "Oof, ahh."
• "All right, that hit the spot."
• "That hit the spot."
• "Yeah, that'll hold me."
• "All right, that'll keep me tight."
• "Woo, that'll keep me tight."

Giving pain pills

• "Take it. Hell, I don't need it."
• "You make sure you use this now."
• "Ain't no shame in gettin' some help."
• "Take this."
• "Here ya go."

Defibrillator

• "Got some chest paddles."
• "Defib unit here!"
• "Got a defib unit."
• "Chest paddles here."

First Aid Kit

• "First aid kit here."
• "First aid here."
• "I've got the first aid."
• "I'm grabbin' some first aid."
• "Look here, this here first aid is mine."

Infected related

When the Infected approach

• "Oh, shit! Watch out!"
• "Look out!"
• "Watch out!"

Common Infected

Incoming horde

• "Here they come!"
• "Ah, shit, this ain't gonna be good."
• "Shit, get ready!"
• "All right now, they comin'."
• "It's on."
• "Game on, baby!"
• "Incoming!"
• "All right, let's put on our game faces, they're comin!"
• "Y'all stay close. It's on!"

Uncommon Infected

Hazmat Infected

• "What's with those suits?"
• "What are those guys doing in those suits?"

Jimmy Gibbs Jr.

• "Hey! Jimmy Gibbs!"
• "Forgive us, Jimmy, but we need your car."
• "Sorry about this, Mr. Gibbs!"
• "Jimmy Gibbs!"

Clown Infected

• "Clowns?! Gimme a break!"
• "Clowns!"
• "That clown's attractin' zombies!"
• "Clowns?!"
• "Shoot the clown!"

Mud Men

• "Shoot the mudmen!"
• "Mudmen!"

Riot Infected

• "That zombie's got armor! I want armor!"
• "That dang zombie is bulletproof!"
• "Shoot that zombie in the back!"
• "Well, I'll be damned, that zombie's wearin' armor!"
• "That zombie is goddamn bulletproof!"

Special Infected

• Hearing for the first time in Dead Center:
  • "From the sounds of it, it's about to get a whole lot worse."
  • "Oh, what the heck is that?"
  • "What is that noise?"
  • "I don't like the sound of that one bit."
  • "Anyone know what that is?"

Smoker

• Hearing:
  • "Sounds like one-a them Smoker bitches."
• Seeing:
  • "Smoker!"
  • [in Dead Center] "Tonguer!"
• Grabbed:
  • "No!"
  • "Ugh...!"
  • "Ah!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "What's got me?!"
  • "Hey! Where am I gettin' dragged off to?!"
  • "I'm all wrapped up!"
  • "Somethin's got me!"
• Constricted:
  • [coughing]
  • "The bitch is choking me!"
  • [raspy] "Get this motherf-- [coughs] off me!"
  • [raspy]"Damn, shit!

Boomer

• Hearing:
  • "Boomer's sneakin' around."
• Seeing:
  • "Boomer!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "Roly Poly!"
  • "Fat guy!"
  • "Fat thing!"
• Barfed on:
  • "Ew! Shit!"
  • "What? D'oh!"
  • "Aah! [spits] Oh!"
  • Bah, damn!

Hunter

• Hearing:
  • "Punk-ass Hunter around."
  • "Sounds like a Hunter."
• Seeing:
  • "We got a Hunter!"
  • "Hunter!"
• [Dead Center]
  • "Crazy legs!"
  • "We got a jumper!"
• Pounced On:
  • "Get it off!"
• Another Survivor is Pounced:
  • "Hunter on [Name of survivor]!"
  • "Hunter's got [Name of survivor]!"
• [Dead Center]
  • "That thing's rippin' him up!"
  • "Zombie's rippin him up!"
  • "Ro's gettin' ripped up!"

Charger

• Hearing:
  • "I hear a Charger. [sometimes followed by:] Don't get charged 'n' shit."
• Seeing:
  • "Charger!"
  • [in Dead Center] "(Big/One) Arm!"
• Pummeled:
  • "Charger's got me!"
  • "Charger! Shoot!"
  • "Shoot the Charger!"
  • "Shoot this damn Charger!"
  • "One of y'all gonna shoot this thing?!"
  • "Oh, this thing's beating my ass!"
  • "Don't stand there! Kill this thing!"
  • "Charger's poundin' me into the ground!"
  • "This Charger's poundin' me!"

Spitter

• Hearing:
  • "That fat spittin' bitch is around."
  • "I hear that fat woman."
  • "Spitter's around."
• Seeing:
  • "Spitter!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "Crazy woman!"
  • "Neck!"
  • "Spittin' thing!"
• Goo Incoming:
  • "Burning shit comin'!"
  • "Spit coming!"
  • "Goo coming!"
  • "Heads up, goo!"
  • "Watch out, spit!
• Gooed:
  • "Shit, that long-necked bitch hit me!"
  • "Damn Spitter got me!"
  • "Burnin' goo!"
  • "Get outta the goo!"
  • "Goddamn it, goo!"
  • "Spit!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "What's this burnin' stuff?"
  • "That female zombie just spat somethin' on me!"
  • "You have got to be kiddin' me…"

Jockey

• Hearing:
  • [in contempt] "Sounds like a little Jockey."
  • One of those leapin'-on-your-back bitches is around."
  • "I hear one-a those Jockeys. If I see it, I'm-a shoot the shit out of it!"
  • [in Dead Center] "'Is that one'a those li'l things?"
  • "It's one of them little guys."
• Seeing:
  • "Jockey!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "Skittish one!"
  • "Little creep!"
  • "Little guy!"
• Ridden:
  • "Ellis! Ellis, is that you? What the hell?'"
  • "Jockey on me!"
  • "Oh, Lord, no! That thing's on me!"
  • "Jockey on my back!"
  • "Agh, that thing's on me!"
  • "Kill the thing on my back!"
  • "Gah! Get this thing off my back!"
  • "Oh, shit! Get this thing off me!" (2 versions)

Seeing a Survivor with a Jockey on them:

• "That ain't right for a man to be ridden like that".
• "Damn! That ain't right.

Tanks

• Seeing:
  • "Tank!"
  • "Oh, shit! Tank!"
  • "We all gotta shoot the Tank, ya hear me?"
  • "I'm gonna beat that Tank's ass!"

• [Dead Center]
  • "Holy shit! What is that?!"
  • "Some kinda... super-ass zombie?!"
  • "Oh, that ain't fair!"
  • "Gigantic thing!"
  • [After killing Tank for the first time]
    • "Well, let's put it behind us. We good, y'all. We good."
    • "Man. That was some epic shit right there."

• Fighting:
  • "Shoot that big mother!"
  • "Keep pourin' it on!"
  • "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
  • "Hit it! Hit it!"
  • "Don't stop now. Shoot it!"

• Attacked while incapacitated:
  • "Hey! In case y'all didn't see it, I got a Tank on me!"
  • "Can't y'all see this thing is beating the shit out of me?!"
  • "Get this damn thing off!"
  • "I got a Tank on me!"
  • "Oh, shit, get this thing off of me!"
  • "Get it off-- Aah! Get it off of me!"
  • "Get it off! Get, get, get it off me!"

Witches

• Hearing:
  • "Y'all hear her, get ready to toss that bitch."
  • "Quiet everybody, I hear a bitch."
  • "Quiet, y'all, I hear a Witch."
  • "That there sounds like a Witch."
  • "No lights."
  • "Y'all turn off your lights."
  • "Y'all need to kill your lights."
  • "Turn off your lights."
  • "Lights out!"
  • "Kill your light."
  • "Kill that light."
  • "Hey, kill that light."
  • "What is that, crying?"
  • [first time] "Rochelle, that ain't you, is it, girl?" (2 versions)
  • "I'll give her somethin' to cry about!"
• Seeing:
  • "Witch!"
  • "We got a Witch!"
  • "Bitch!" / "I see that bitch!"
    • Rochelle: [In response of Coach calling her 'Bitch' (The Streets only)] "Coach, be nice. Witch, we call her a Witch."
• Witch is Being Disturbed:
  • "Oh, shit, that bitch is getting angry!"
  • "Oh, shit, that bitch is pissed!"
  • "Watch out y'all, someone pissed off that bitch."
  • "Quit trifling with that bitch! She gonna explode!"

• Startling Witch:
  • "Goddamn it!"
  • "Oh, shit!"
  • "Ah, no."
  • "Damn!"
  • "Shit!"
• Running from the Witch:
  • "Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch!"
  • "Oh, shit! Witch! Witch! Witch!"
  • "The bitch is chasing me!"
  • "Get out the way, Witch!"
  • "Bitch on my ass!"
  • "Coming through, Witch on my ass!"
  • "Run! Run! Witch coming through!"
  • "Crazy woman!"

Scavenge

• [ At the beginning of a Scavenge map] "Haul ass and get gas!"
• "Let's go! Find the gas cans!"
• [ When the Survivors win ] "Yeah!"

Level Specific

Dead Center

The Hotel

• Intro - first half:
  • "Hey! Come back! Come back! Ah, he ain't comin' back."
  • "Hey! There's still people on the roof! Get back here!"
  • "Aw, heck, the rescue chopper's leavin'!"
  • "What the heck is that chopper doing?"
    • Nick: "It's leaving us. Also, say hell."
    • Coach: "Hey now, no need for cussin'."
    • Nick: "It's flying the hell away from the burning building we're standing the hell on. Let's follow its lead and get the hell out of here."
  • Nick: "Goddamn it! We just missed it!"
    • Coach: "Don't take the Lord's name in vain."
    • Nick: "You serious, aren't you?"
    • Coach: "Yeah, I'm serious."
  • Nick: "Hey, come back! I'm here! There's still someone down here!"
    • Coach: "There are three other people here, son."
    • Nick: "Oh, good. You can count. I bet they'll come back now."

• Intro - second half:
  • "Looked like it was headin' to the mall across town."
  • "Okay, nobody panic. I live around here and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far, I can take you there."
  • "There's a mall got turned into an evac station not too far from here. I'll bet that chopper's headin' there."
  • "Everybody calm down. I live around here, and that chopper looks like it's headin' to the mall. It ain't far. I'll take you there."
  • "Dollars to donuts, that chopper's headin' to the mall across town."
    • Nick: "I trust you. You look like a man who knows his donuts."
  • "Looks like it's headin' to the mall. Maybe they're still evacuatin' people there."
  • "Don't worry, they're heading to the mall, we can catch them there."
  • "Then let's do it. Everybody grab a weapon, and let's go."
  • Ellis: "That chopper looks like it's headin' over to the evac station at the mall."
    • Coach: "Gotta agree. Let's follow them to the mall."

• Grabbing a weapon:
  • "We better grab a weapon. Might need to defend ourselves."
  • "I'm not a violent man. But I ain't stupid neither. Let's grab some weapons."
  • "Arm up. I don't have a good feeling about this."
  • "Grab whatever you can find to hit something with."
  • "If everyone's good with it, we should stick together."
  • "I don't like the sounds comin' from downstairs."

• First encountering the Infected:
  • "Jumpin' Jehosaphat! What are these things?!"
  • "Y'all know what the hell these things are?!"
  • [After killing any Special Infected for the first time] "It's them, or us."
  • Unused prior to The Last Stand update:
    • "Damn. Sweet Georgia Brown..."
    • "Sweet Georgia Brown..."
    • "Sweet Hosanna..."
    • "These things move like greased lightning!"
    • "Man, I ain't ever killed nothin' before."
    • "This don't feel right."

• Looking at the CEDA map:
  • "Look at that map. We need to get ourselves to New Orleans."
  • "Would you look at this map. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing in the country."
  • "We need to get to New Orleans."
  • "Would you look at this. Folks, I think N'awlins is the last city standing."
  • "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."
  • Unused:
    • Coach: "Man, look at this map. We're all that's left."
      • Nick: "So that's why I'm feeling so goddamn lucky."
        • Coach: "You're tirin' me real fast, son."
    • Coach: "Girl, you in news - you make any sense of this?"
      • Rochelle: "Yeah, yeah I can make sense of this. We are screwed."

• Looking at the photo of a Boomer in a cage on the CEDA poster:
  • "Oh, man, look at that thing in there."
  • "How the hell did they capture this thing already?"

• Looking at the first elevators:
  • "Elevator's out!"
  • "Let's get to the stairs."
  • Unused prior to The Last Stand update:
    • Coach: "Oh, crumbs! Elevator's out."
      • Nick: "Crumbs? Really, Coach? That's how you swear?"

• Fire spreading:
  • "The fire's spreading!"
  • "We can get around the fire out here."
  • "We can walk along the ledge!"
  • "Let's try the ledge!"
  • Unused:
    • Coach: "Man, it don't feel right breakin' property like this."
      • Nick: "I love doing that." / "I will never get tired of that."

• Grabbing a gun:
  • "This'll help."
  • "Think the zombies mind if I take one of their guns?"
  • "Mm-hmm."
  • "That's better."
  • "Now I ain't effin' around!"
  • "I have NEVER been so happy to see a gun."
  • "If they had guns, they knew this was gonna get bad."
  • "Look at this, they knew damn well this was gonna get bad."
  • "Now we're talking."
  • "This gun DOES make it easier."
  • "That levels the playin' field."
  • "That's more like it."

• Seeing the elevator:
  • "This elevator's still on!"
  • "Hey, this elevator's still on!"
  • "Thank Jesus, this one's still on. I ain't walkin' down thirty flights of stairs."
  • "I don't think you're supposed to use an elevator when the building's on fire."
  • "You think that rule still applies if there's zombies in the building?"

• Getting in the elevator:
  • "Hit the button before this turns into a bad idea."
  • "Everybody into the elevator!"
  • "Get in the elevator!"
  • "Somebody push the button!"

• Inside the elevator:
  • Ellis: "Holy shit! This is some kind of nightmare. Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse and shit. Shit, shit, shit. What in the hell are we going to do?"
    Coach: "Settle down, son. We're going to be okay. What's your name?"
    Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
    Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
    Nick: "Name's Nick. But don't worry about learning it, 'cause I ain't sticking around long." / "Nick. Not that it matters, 'cause I think we should split up when this thing opens."
    Coach: "Let's stay together for a little while longer at least. Okay, Nick?"
  • Nick: "Nick, name's Nick. You all did good. What're your names?"
    Coach: "People just call me Coach."
    Rochelle: "My name's Rochelle. You?"
    Ellis: "My name is Ellis, but some people call me El. I really prefer Ellis 'cause El kinda sounds like a girl's name. But if you prefer to call me El I guess you can."
  • Nick: "Name's Nick. Anyone get bit? Isn't that how this works?"
    Coach: "No, I'm good. My friends call me Coach. I guess y'all can do the same."
    Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
    Ellis: "Ellis. Pleasure to meet you, Rochelle."
  • If Ellis is dead:
    • Coach: "People call me Coach, what's your name?"
      Nick: "Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
      Rochelle: "Rochelle. Who'd we lose? I think it was Ellis."
      Coach: "Little man, we are goin' to miss you."
  • If Nick is dead:
    • Rochelle: "Hey. Name's Rochelle, you?"
      Coach: "People just call me Coach."
      Ellis: "Folks call me Ellis. I run an auto shop around here. Instead of evacuatin', I armored up a truck to drive myself out of here. Built that thing to be zombie proof. Turns out it was only ninety-nine percent zombie proof. The last one percent tore that truck to shit."
      Coach: "Boy, you are wearin' me out."
      Rochelle: "I think it was Nick."
  • If Rochelle is dead:
    • Nick: "There's blood on me, but it ain't mine. Name's Nick. Hey, what's your name?"
      Ellis: "Ellis, my name is Ellis."
      Coach: "People just call me Coach. Who'd we lose?"
      Nick: "I think she just said it was Rochelle."
  • Unused prior to The Last Stand update:
    • "So pleased to meet you. You can call me Coach. What's your name?"
    • "My name's Coach. I don't like bein' here any more than you do-but if we gotta fight, we might as well fight together."
    • "My name's Coach. And I know how to shoot a gun."
    • "People call me Coach. And I live here."
    • "There we go. Most people call me Coach. And we're gonna be okay. Just gotta keep our heads."
    • "Everyone just calls me Coach."
    • "No, I'm good. You?"
    • "We are not off to a good start."
    • "I think it was Ellis."
    • "I think it was Nick."
    • "I think she said it was Rochelle. Poor girl."
    • "I thought your name was Ellis."
    • "We gotta work together. We can't lose anyone else. My name's Coach. What you folks call yourselves?"
    • "I don't think so."
    • "Coach'll work."

• Elevator stopped:
  • "Get ready..."
  • "All right, enough chat. Get ready."

The Streets

• In safe room:
  • Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
    Nick: "Sounds good to me." / "A gun store sounds like a fine place to stop."
  • Coach: "There's a gun store on the way to the mall. What do you say we pay it a visit?"
    Rochelle: "Okay, this man's talking some sense. Let's get out of here."
    Ellis: "Heh heh. Zombie apocalypse ain't all that bad."
  • Ellis: "Ooh, I know a gun store we can stop at along the way. Get ourselves some real weapons."
    Nick: "I guess living here's finally paying off." / "Jesus, are you from here? Ugh, look at you, that is so depressing.
    Coach: "Mister... I don't think I like your attitude."
    Nick: "Whatever." / "Call 9-1-1, I hurt his feelings" / "Hm, this'd be really awkward if I gave a shit about your feelings."

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Let's go find that mall.
  • "Let's go find that helicopter."
  • Unused:
    • "There's another chopper! We're close to the mall now."

• Looking at a sign:
  • "Mall's that way! Let's move!"
  • "Mall's that way! Just keep followin' the signs!"
  • "We're headin' the right way to the mall."
  • "Stay with me! That mall's just up ahead!"
  • "Look alive! We're getting close to the mall!"

• Seeing the bridge:
  • "Mall's over this bridge!"
  • "Bridge to the mall's blocked! We gotta find another way."
  • "Let's try the door."

• Crossing an empty street (cut):
  • "Damn. Where is everybody?"
  • Coach: "Shit. This place is deserted. It's startin' to creep me out."
    Nick: "It's starting to creep you out?"

• Getting close to the gun store:
  • "That gun store's around here somewhere."
  • "We're getting close to that gun store."
  • "That gun store's just up ahead. Let's stock up and keep moving."
  • "Gun store's just down these stairs!"

• Entering the gun store:
  • "Paydirt!"
  • "I don't know how to shoot one, guess we're even."
  • "Haha, paydirt!"
  • "Pretty sure alla these'll kill them zombies."
  • "This here is a LOT of guns."

• Talking to Whitaker:
  • Whitaker: "Hello there. I've barricaded myself on the roof with ample provisions. But in my haste I forgot cola. So here is my proposition. If you go find me some cola at yonder food store, I'll clear a path to the mall for you.
    Coach: "Finally, somethin' that makes sense to me: a man and his snacks. We'll hook ya up. Just don't forget to take care of us."
    "Well man-I'll get you your drinks, but you better help us."
    "I hear ya, my man. I understand your need for snacks. But I just gotta be clear that if we get 'em, you are gonna help us."
    "Cola and nuts? Could go for some myself. Better not be diet cola. Because that I will not do."
    "I have never killed zombies on a snack run, but today is a day of firsts. If you don't mind us using your guns to do it, we're good to go."
    "Nick, don't give me that look. Cola and nuts might be this man's last meal. We can't deny him that. We get him his snacks, he helps us. I'm good with it."

• Inside the food store:
  • "Here comes the alarm."
  • "There's the cola!"
  • "Grab the cola!"
  • "I got the cola, let's get back!"
  • "All right, I got the crazy man's cola! Let's go!"
  • "I got the cola!"
  • "Grabbin' cola!"

• Whitaker blows up the truck:
  • "Barrier's down! Let's move, baby!"
  • "Path clear! Let's get to that mall!"
  • "When that man says he's gonna clear a path, he clears a path!"
  • "That's how I used clear a path when I played college ball."
  • "Path's clear! Let's move, baby!"
  • "Path's clear! Let's get to that mall!"
  • "Enjoy those cola and nuts, man! Thanks for the guns!"

• Getting close to the mall:
  • "Ha-ha! There's the mall!"
  • "Hmm. This mall look busy to you?"
  • "I guess all the people must be inside."

The Mall

• Inside safe room:
  • "Keep an eye out for the evac center. Also the food court. I am starving."
  • Nick: "Let's go find this evacuation center. I'm already sick of this place."
    Coach: "CEDA's gotta be around here somewhere. Let's find this evac and get out of here."
  • Coach: "Everybody, gather 'round. Let's pray. Dear Lord. See us safely through our time of trial in this mall. And please Lord... let the food court be okay."
    Ellis: "Amen."
    Rochelle: "Amen." / "Lord, have mercy on Coach and spare the food court."

• Going through the mall:
  • "If I see a zombie running at me with a sample tray, I ain't shootin' it."
  • "Evac's this way!"
  • "I hope somebody got out all right..."
  • "I hope the food court's okay."
  • "Evac's up ahead!"
  • "...poor food court never stood a chance..."
  • "Hmm. About time a store gives a man a haircut while he buys himself some pants."
  • "I could roll up a whole pizza right now, eat it sub-style."

• Setting off the alarm:
  • "We gotta turn off that alarm!"
  • "Keep going!"
  • "Someone turn off the alarm!"
  • "Don't stop running!"
  • "Last one to turn off the alarm is a rotten egg!"

• Turning alarm off:
  • "Got it!"
  • "I can still hear it in my head, but I think the alarm is off."

• At the deserted evacuation center:
  • "What the hell is CEDA doing?"
  • "I won't lie. It don't look good."
  • "I hope somebody got out all right..."
  • (Cut) "Some of the refugees must've built a safe room!"

Atrium Finale

• In safe room:
  • Nick: "Who the hell is Jimmy Gibbs Jr.?"
    Coach: "Ohh heyyy! Jimmy Gibbs!" / "I heard of Jimmy Gibbs! That man's a stock car legend."
    Nick: "I'm getting sick of looking at this guy's face."
    Coach: "Well, trust me - in these parts? He's as famous as... Elvis. Or the President."
    Nick: "Really? 'Cause he looks like an asshole."
    Coach: "Get your ass movin', Nick."
  • Rochelle: "Anybody know who the race car guy is?"
    Ellis: "Just the best stock car racer of all time. Try reading a book sometime."
    Rochelle: "Jimmy Gibbs Jr... Yay."
    Ellis: "That man is the pride of Georgia. I would take a bullet for that man."/ "If the laws of nature allowed it, I would bear that man's children."
    Coach: "Amen!"

• Leaving the safe room:
  • "If we see a Jimmy Gibbs zombie, somebody else is gonna have to kill him."
  • "Are we gonna put up tents and shit, or keep movin'?"

• In the Atrium:
  • Coach: "What do y'all make of this?"
    Nick: "We're pretty screwed."
    Coach: "No shit."

• Inside the elevator:
  • Coach: "Looks like we're gonna have to save ourselves. Anybody got an idea, speak up, we're listenin'."
    Ellis: "I might have an idea. Let's go find Jimmy Gibbs's stock car. We get that thing gassed up, we will drive out of here!"
    Coach: "Forgive us, Jimmy, but we need your car." / "Normally I wouldn't do this. But in these circumstances, I think Mr. Gibbs, Jr. ain't gonna mind." / "Normally I wouldn't agree to do this. But in these circumstances, I think Mr. Gibbs, Jr. ain't gonna mind."
    Ellis: "Wherever he is, Coach - he's proud of you. All right, I'm bettin' the gas tank'll probably be empty. We'll have to gas it up before we haul ass."
    Coach: "Soon as these doors open, get ready to move."
  • Coach: "Looks like we're gonna have to save ourselves. Anybody got an idea? Now's the time." / "All right, so... getting' evac'd ain't happening. Anybody got an idea? Speak up, we're listenin'."
    Ellis: "I might have an idea. Let's go find Jimmy Gibbs's stock car. We get that thing gassed up, we can drive out of here."
    Coach: "Son, you got a deal!" / "Ha-ha! All the way to New Orleans! Baby, that sounds like a plan!"
    Ellis: All right, I'm bettin' the gas tank'll probably be empty. We'll have to gas it up before we haul ass." / "Now remember: They don't fill up the tanks at car shows, so we'll have to find some gas."
    Coach: "Soon as them doors open, you run your ass off and find some gas." / "Soon as these doors open, get ready to move."

• Starting finale:
  • "Haul ass and get gas!"
  • "Let's go! Find a gas can!"
  • "Let's get this car gassed up!"

• Car ready:
  • "We're all gassed up, get to the car!"
  • "Here we come, New Orleans!"
  • "Get to the car!"
  • "Get to the car, people!"

• Ending cutscene:
  • "Hit it!"
  • "Sorry about this, Mr. Gibbs."
  • "Go, Ellis, go!"
  • "Woo! Thank you, Mr. Gibbs."
  • "Punch it, Ellis!!"

The Passing

The Riverbank

• Intro:
  • Coach: "Hey, hello there! You wanna let the bridge down for us?"
    Zoey: "Generator's out on the other side!"
    Coach: "Y'all can't climb down there and save us a trip?"
    Zoey: "Sorry, can't! We got wounded up here. If you can get to the other side of the bridge, we can help you get it down."
  • Zoey: "You need to get to the other of this bridge. Road's clear past that."
    Coach: "Got it. We'll holla back at you when we get there."
  • Ellis: "Well hello! Hello... Howdy. Beautiful weather, huh... we're havin'... Oh god, I'm too nervous to talk to her, one of you better do this."
    Coach: "You been killin' zombies for the better part of two days, boy you can talk to a girl."
    Zoey: "You are going to need to get to the other side of the bridge. We can help you there."
    Coach: "Okay, the boy says thank you."
    Ellis: "Coach, come on, man!"
  • Francis: "Are any of you vampires?"
    Coach: "Tell me this boy ain't for real. No. Can you lower the bridge?"
    Francis: "Sorry, can't."
    Coach: "Shit, okay. Yes, we are vampires? All of us are vampires?"
    Francis: "Louis! I told you there were vampires! [Cut prior to The Last Stand update: Louis: "No there aren't, Francis, tell them they have to get to the other side of the bridge."] I'm not talking to any goddamn vampires."
    Coach: "Dear Lord, why'd I ever leave Savannah."

• Looking at the historic sign:
  • "Historic Under-the-River Tour! This could be pretty interesting!"
  • "Let's all try this under-the-river tour to get across."
  • "Sign says there's an under-the-river tour, that'll get us across."
  • "If we can't take the bridge, let's take the tunnel."
  • Rochelle: "Coach, you know anything about this under the river tour?"
    Coach: "Uh, yeah. It's historic." / "I don't know, goes under the river."
    Rochelle: "Thanks Coach." / "Gee, thanks Coach." / "Uh, gee, glad I asked." / "Glad I asked." / "Good enough." / "Well, okay... Good enough."

• Going in the gun store:
  • "Guns in the store."
  • [ If Francis was on the bridge ] Nick: "Hold on a sec, I'm gonna go back and shoot that jackass." / "Hold on, I'm gonna go back and shoot that tattoo disaster." / "I would love to go back and shoot that vest-wearing jackass."
    Coach: "Nick, you gotta pull yourself together."

• At the wedding reception:
  • "Damn. This here wedding didn't end well."
  • Coach: "Bride. Wedding. Gotta be cake around here somewhere."
    Nick: "Coach, no time for cake." / "I'll keep an eye out for some." / "Coach, I'll keep an eye out for some. Okay, buddy?"
  • Coach: "Look, uh, anyone see the wedding cake?" / "Shh... Does anyone see the wedding cake?" / "Anyone see the wedding cake?"
    Ellis: "Ain't seen none, Coach, but I'll yell if I do."

• Seeing the Witch:
  • Nick: "Careful! I've seen a bride just like this before."
    Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
  • [ If Zoey was on the bridge ] Nick: "Ellis, maybe you should grab that dress for your new girlfriend, huh?" / "Ellis, go give the bride a kiss, it'll be good luck. Trust me." / "Hey, Ellis look, it's another angel."
    Ellis: [whispering] "Shut up, Nick." / "What?!"
    Coach: "Come on, Nick, not the time."

• Chased by the Witch:
  • "Bride's chasing me!"
  • "Ugly bride's chasing me! Bride's chasing me!"
  • "Kill the bride! Kill the bride!"

• Witch dies:
  • Coach: "Mm, now that's a shotgun wedding."
    Nick: "That's a good one, Coach." / "Coach! That's a good one." / "Spectacular, Coach." / "Very true." / "Well put." / "Wow, true."
  • Ellis: "Kinda feel bad killin' this witch."
    Coach: "You got problems, boy. Deep down problems."
  • Ellis: "Whole thing makes me uncomfortable."
    Coach: "Yeah, that shit was creeping me out."
  • Ellis: "Hey, Coach. Can coaches marry people?"
    Coach: "No, Ellis."
  • If Zoey was on the bridge:
    • Ellis: "You know what? This got me thinking... I should totally marry that girl." / "This reminds me, I should totally marry that girl." / "This wedding here? I'm takin' this as a sign."
      Coach: "Got to keep your head on killin' zombies, Ellis."

• Going in a tent:
  • "Check those tents."
  • "Guns in these here tents. Damn, but no cake."

The Underground

• In safe room:
  • Ellis: "Oh, I keep hoping we drive to a place where there aren't any more zombies."
    Rochelle: "Oh, I just keep hoping I wake up every day."
    Coach: "Man, I keep hoping we find an open Burger Tank."
    Nick: "Whatever."
  • Coach: "All this runnin' we been doing? I bet I lost, what, five pounds."
    Rochelle: "Well, anybody who survives this shit is gonna be in great shape."
  • Coach: "Man, I just realized with all this runnin', climbin' and fightin', I ain't even had time to eat."
    Rochelle: "You're looking good, Coach."
  • Rochelle: "We need to get motivated. How we gonna get motivated... Coach. We make it to New Orleans, there's a Cheeseburger museum."
    Coach: "Oh. In my heart, I'm there already."
    Rochelle: "Hey, Ellis? I hear there's a Stock Car museum in New Orleans."
    Ellis: "Get outta here! All right!"
    Rochelle: "Nick, there's a-"
    Nick: "Yeah, no, I'm good, I'm good."
  • Coach: "City of Rayford! They used to have a boiled peanut festival here. Good memories."
    Rochelle: "I have a bunch of good memories, too... of never once going to a boiled peanut festival." / Nick: "Boiled nuts? Christ. What is wrong with you Southerners?" / "Boiled nuts? Coach, come on, what is wrong with you Southerners?"
  • Coach: "Nick, tell me you ain't looking forward to this under-the-river tour."
    Nick: "I am not looking forward to this under the river tour."
    Coach: "Man, Nick, you got a find a way to cheer your ass up. We ain't got much to look forward to."
    Nick: "Coach, it's a hole. Oh no, excuse me, an historic hole. Under a river."
  • [If Francis was on the bridge] Coach: "Nick, tell me you ain't looking forward to this under-the-river tour."
    Nick: "I am not looking forward to this under the river tour."
    Coach: "Man, Nick, you got a find a way to cheer your ass up. We ain't got much to look forward to."
    Nick: "Okay, good point. You know what? I am looking forward to punching that grease bag biker in the mouth."
    Coach: "There you go, Nick. Stay positive." / "There you go, Nick. Stay positive. Maybe you'll knock all his teeth out."
  • Nick: "So this under-the-river tour, who wants to bet that is going to be filthy."
    Coach: "Oh, come on, you aren't afraid of a little dirt are you?"
    Nick: "A germ just wiped out the whole planet, Coach. So yes."
  • [If Francis was on the bridge] Nick: "So we find this historic section. Go under the river. And then we kick that biker dude's ass, right?"
    Coach: "Nick. Son. I think we got bigger problems."
  • Coach: "I heard all about this under-the-river tour, supposed to be pretty damn good. Real educational."
    Nick: "Okay, let me get this straight. It's a tunnel... under the river. Right?"
    Coach: "You damn right. Under a river."
    Nick: "And this is supposed to teach me about what exactly?"
    Coach: "Uh, historical shit. Man, how am I supposed to know? I ain't been there yet."
  • Ellis: "You know, we've been gone for a while, you think the car is okay?"
    Coach: "Ellis, you do know that eventually we're gonna have to leave that car behind. Right?"
    Ellis: "Yeah, yeah, that's not going to happen."
    Coach: "Boy, the Military ain't exactly going to strap it to the bottom of a helicopter."
    Ellis: "Okay, Coach. Whatever you say."
  • Coach: "I bet I'm losin' some serious weight! Two more days, I'll be takin' my belt in a notch."
    Ellis: "Oh dude, this reminds me of that time, my buddy Keith? He went on a diet, on account of what his doctor sayin' he had to go on a diet, or he'd die? So they told him he could drink nothin' but them little diet shakes, but those are like five bucks a can, I'll make my own damn smoothies!' He got himself a blender, all sorts of salad shit, kiwis, limes, some tequila, a big can of that protein powder the bodybuilders use..."
    Rochelle: "Did any of this actually work?"
    Ellis: "Naw, he gained like thirty pounds. But he invented a shitload of tasty drinks. I was always partial to Keith's Kiwi Kamikaze."
  • [ If Zoey was on the bridge ] Ellis: "Ah man, that Zoey will never go for a man like me."
    Rochelle: "Ellis, ask yourself, what would Keith do?"
    Ellis: "Oh, Ro, man, that reminds me of this..."
    Coach: "Girl! What are you doing?"
    Rochelle: "Ah! I wasn't thinking."
    Coach: "Listen, if you let your guard down for one minute... we all pay the price."

• Looking at the tattoos:
  • "I got that one, that one... Hell, I got most of these."
    Rochelle: "Where?"
    Coach: "Shit, it's all south of the border." / "Coach's got a lot of real estate." / "Hey, Coach keeps his secrets."
    Rochelle: "Burgh-gh-gh-gh-gh." / "Ughhh." / "Please be the ankle, please be the ankle."

• Starting the jukebox:
  • "This jukebox is all right."
  • "Oh shit, this thing is still on!"

• Seeing the Midnight Riders bus:
  • "Man, I think I just saw... nah."
  • "I must be dreaming."

• Seeing the suitcase full of pistols and money:
  • [singing] "...a suitcase full of pistols and mon-nay!"

• Walking over the plank:
  • "Over this plank."
  • "Hurry up and get your asses over this plank."
  • "Oh shit, do not look down."
  • "Easy now, don't be playin' on this board."

• Approaching the Jazz Club:
  • "Into the Jazz Club."
  • "Tour's in the Jazz Club."

• Going in the underground:
  • "Here we go, under the river."

• Walking on the walkway:
  • "Keep to the walkway."
  • "Follow the walkway."
  • "Shit, they must have locked up all the history to keep it safe."
  • Coach: "Man, this is a real..."
    Nick: "Shithole?"
    Coach: "Yeah. It's a shithole."
    Nick: "Toldja."
  • Coach: "Man, this is a real..."
    Rochelle: "Shithole? Sorry Coach."
  • Coach: "Man, look at all this, uh... uh... Aw, man, this tour is bullshit."
    Nick: "Yeah. Tunnels. You're right, Coach, you're so right. History is coming alive."
    Coach: "Aw, shut up, Nick." / Ellis: "Nick! We all see this tour's got some problems, no sense picking on Coach."

• Seeing "Phase 2":
  • "Tour's over? Shit."
  • "Tour's over? Bullshit."
  • "Phase two coming in 2010? Shit, phase one ain't done."
  • "Phase two my ass."

• Jumping in the water:
  • "Together, people."
  • "Don't get left behind."

• In the water:
  • "Don't stop, people!"
  • "Come on now, let's just get through this shit."
  • "All right, let's keep moving. Unless Nick wants to stop and take a bath."
  • "Hey Nick, try and keep your head above water."
  • "Don't trip, Nick." [laughs]
  • Nick: "Here's a pleasant thought: Any one of us gets pounced, we are going to be fully submerged in shit water."
    Coach: "Gotta keep your head above water, man." [laughs]
  • Nick: "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a storm sewer..."
    Coach: "Nick, my man, face it. We are walkin' through shit."
    Nick: "Seriously, look, I will pay any one of you a thousand dollars right now to give me a piggyback ride."
    Coach: "Nick, if I give you a piggy back ride, will you shut up about the sewer?"
    Nick: "YES."
  • Ellis: "Oh man, I found a candy bar! ...Whup. False alarm."
    Coach: "Oh, Jesus! Ellis!" / "Oh, come on! Jesus! Ellis!"
  • Ellis: "Okay if anybody needs a bathroom break, now'd be a good time."
    Coach: "Hey, hold on there, boy, let me get out of the water!"

• Opening the bridge (originally, the survivors had to push a button to raise a bridge (like in the second chapter of Death Toll) which eventually collapsed, and had later to use another bridge):
  • "Let's raise this bridge."
  • "That button will raise the lift."
  • "Shit, we gotta hit that button."
  • "This looks like the only way."
  • "Ahh come on, elevator!"
  • "That is some slow ass shit."
  • "Lift is coming!"
  • "All right, the lift is coming, come on... come on..."
  • "Lift coming!"
  • "This one better work."
  • "Second time better be the charm."
  • "Oh damn, another one of these things?"
  • "Ellis, don't break it this time."
  • "Bridge here, let's go!"
  • "Come on, let's get out of this sewer!"
  • "Come on, people, don't stand around, let's go!"

• Looking for a ladder:
  • "There's gotta be a ladder here somewhere."
  • "Let's find ourselves a ladder."
  • "Holler if you see a ladder."
  • "We need to get on the catwalks."
  • "We need to get out of this shit."
  • "Keep running, that alarm ain't goin' off."
  • "That alarm is gonna keep goin'!"

• Seeing a ladder
  • "A ladder!"
  • "Ladder!"
  • "Thank you, Jesus, a ladder!"
  • "Up that ladder!"
  • "Let's get out of the water."
  • "Everybody up there!"
  • "All right, out of the water."

• Going back in the water:
  • "Damn, back in the water, people."
  • "Let's just get this over with."
  • "Can't stay up here all day y'all."
  • "One more time!"
  • "Ah hell, more water."
  • "Ah hell, back in the water!"

The Port

• In safe room:
  • [If Francis was on the bridge] Coach: "I don't trust that biker. He's probably long gone by now."
    Ellis: "Nah man, he seemed like a good guy."
    Coach: "Minute we left, bet ya he stole the Jimmy Gibbs Jr."
    Ellis: "He is a dead man. He is a dead man. Folks, we got a new goal. New Orleans is gonna have to wait. We are going to have to hunt that biker man down." / "I will kill him. I will kill him. Folks, we got a new goal. New Orleans is gonna have to wait. We are going to have to hunt that biker man down."
    Rochelle: "Great. Thanks, Coach." / "Thanks, Coach."
  • Nick: "I don't trust that biker. He better still be here."
    Rochelle: "He'll be there."
    Nick: "You know him that well?"
    Rochelle: "I just have a good feeling." / "It's a woman thing; I just have a good feeling."
    Nick: "You got a good feeling about every scumbag that lives on a bridge?
    Coach: "Sometimes you just gotta have faith, Nick."
  • [If Zoey was on the bridge] Coach: "Ellis. It's showtime, buddy."
    Ellis: "How do I look?" / "How do I look, man?"
    Nick: "Like you've been crawling through a sewer."
    Ellis: "You got a turd on your shoulder, Nick."
    Nick: "I'm not even going to look." / "I'm not even going to look, Ellis."
  • Coach: "Hey, Ellis, you ready to meet that Zoey girl again?" [laughs]
    Ellis: "Man, I don't know, what do you think? With the hat or without it?"
    Rochelle: "Just be your own sweet self, Ellis." / "You're great. Just be your own sweet self, Ellis."
    Nick: "Don't listen to her. You got five minutes to get this done, Ellis. It is do or die time, buddy."
    Rochelle: "I just think Nick is jealous." / "Nick is just jealous."

• Meeting the survivors again:
  • Coach: "Hey! So how do we lower this bridge?"
    Francis: "I've been thinking about this. We lost a good man getting this goddamn thing up. I'm not real happy about putting it back down again."
    Coach: "So what, you gonna live up here?"
    Francis: "Look, brother. We lost a good man. Another one is hurt. We can't get that generator filled up until Louis is back on his feet."
    Louis: "Francis! We talked about this. We're gonna help them. We will lower the bridge, but you gotta fill up the generator for us to lower it. That helps us both."
    Coach: "Sounds fair."
  • Louis: "Hey, you made it!"
    Coach: "Damn right. We're getting good at killing these things."
    Louis: "Where you guys headin?"
    Coach: "New Orleans, want to come with us?"
    Louis: "Nah, better not. We've had enough with the military."
    Coach: "So how we gonna get this bridge down?"
    Louis: "Take that elevator down, fill up the generator, we'll take care of the rest."
  • Louis: "You made it! Now you just need to fill that generator and we can raise the bridge! We can even help cover you from up here."
    Coach: "Hey listen, thanks for the help. And when the bridge is down, you're more than welcome to come with us."
    Louis: "I don't think that would work."
    Coach: "Hell, we can even leave Ellis behind to make room for y'all."
    Ellis: "Hey!" / "Hey, what?!"
    Louis: "Thanks! Sounds good but I think we're gonna stay on our own."
    Coach: "All right, understood. Y'all keep safe now."

• Going down the elevator:
  • "No messin' around, let's get these cans."
  • "We do this and get back to the car."
  • "Let's fill that generator and then get back to the car."
  • "All right, look, no messin' around, let's get these cans."
  • Ellis: "Man, I'm gonna kill so many zombies she's gonna have to love me." / "I'm gonna kill a Tank in her honor. Ooh, and then I'm gonna name it after her."
    Coach: "Ellis. Keep your mind on the cans not the girl."

• When a survivor drops supplies:
  • "Thanks for sharing!"
  • "Thanks my man."
  • "Man, you guys are all right."
  • "Hey, thanks for the supplies."
  • "We owe you one. Maybe two!"

• After a survivor drops the last gas can:
  • "You three keep safe."
  • "We owe you."
  • "You good? See y'all!"
  • "Well all right. We're gonna remember y'all."

• Running across the bridge:
  • "Get to the car!"
  • "Let's get to the car!"
  • "Bridge is down, let's go!"
  • "Come on people, GET TO THE CAR! GET TO THE CAR!"
  • "We gotta run, GO!"

• Coach hears about one of the survivors's death (cut):
  • Francis: "There's not many of us left, brother." / Louis: "I hope you don't mind if we stay on our own."
    Coach: "Sorry to hear it." / "Damn, I think we're all losin' people." / "Shit. Not a lot of good news goin' round these days."

Dark Carnival

The Highway

• [Possible intro scenes]
• Ellis: "Sorry, folks. This car's capable of miracles, but it can't drive over twenty miles of parked cars. I think we're walkin'."
  • Coach: "Hell, it got us this far. We'll find another way to N'awlins."
  • Rochelle: "I do not want to walk all the way to the New Orleans."
• Nick: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, guys - but unless Ellis knows how to build a monster truck, we ain't drivin' through this."
  • Ellis: "Sorry, guys. Guess it wasn't such a hot idea after all."
  • Nick: "Don't sweat it, Ellis. At least you got us out of that mall."
  • Coach: "Yeah Ellis, that was some good driving."
• Ellis: "Goddamn, look at this logjam! We could've been made it too."
  • Coach: "But the road's blocked now."
  • Ellis: "Sorry guys, I didn't see this comin'." / "Sorry folks, I can't drive over a traffic jam."
  • Coach: "Let's get back on foot." / "Ain't no way to drive around this mess, let's walk it."
• Seeing the Whispering Oaks advertisement:
  • Coach: "Hey, Whisperin' Oaks! Shit, I used to go there when I was a kid!"
    • Nick: "Oh good. Now we can die there as adults."
• Going through the cars:
  • Nick/Rochelle: "These abandoned cars go on for MILES."
    • Coach: "Maybe they left 'em when they got rescued."
      • Nick: "That's...one theory."
      • Rochelle: "Uh huh, that's probably it."
• Walking down the offramp:
  • "Down this offramp!"
  • "All right, take the off ramp."
  • (Cut:) "Down here."
  • "Head down this way."
• Seeing the searchlights:
  • Coach: "Look, searchlights! Might be survivors there! We should check it out!" / "Look, searchlights! I bet that's Whisperin' Oaks."
    • Nick: "We'll head towards the searchlights. If there's an evac, it'll be there." / "Or maybe a corpse fell on the searchlight button. Still, worth checking out."
  • Rochelle: "You guys see those searchlights? I say we head there."

• Nick: "Searchlights over there. Could be a way out."
  • Coach: "That there's Whispering Oaks." / "That there's Whispering Oaks Amusement Park."
• (Cut responses:)
  • "Look at those lights to the left! They're having a party!"
  • "Well, might as well head to those light and join the party."
  • "Ah, hell, those lights are an amusement park!"
  • "Jesus Christ, that's a Ferris wheel lit up."
  • "Let's head to the amusement park. Ain't like we have anywhere else to go."
  • "I don't think zombies turned those lights on."
  • Coach: "Well now, if we're picking directions, I say head towards the spinning lights."
    Nick: "Great, following shiny lights in the sky. We're like freaking cats and a laser pointer."
    Coach: "One place is as good as the next when you're dying." / "One place is as good as the next when you're dead." / "I don't think zombies turned those lights on."

• Arriving at the motel:
  • "Highway's blocked! Let's check out the motel!"
  • "Whispering Oaks Motel? Sheeet... I know where we are!"
  • (Cut) "We gotta figure a way around this motel."

• Searching the rooms:
  • "Check the rooms. Might be somethin' useful."

• Seeing the gully:
  • "Watch that first step, baby."
  • "Whoa... Take it slow down this hill. Looks like a pretty big drop."
  • "Watch yourself on this hill..."
  • (Cut) "Bridge is out."
  • "We gotta cross the valley."

• At the bottom:
• [Trying really hard not to laugh] "It's not funny. You coulda really hurt your—Naw, it is funny!"
  • Ellis: "Coach, you're breathin' a little hard, you okay?"
    Coach: "Damn, I am too old for this shit." / "Ain't used to this."
  • Ellis: "Anybody wanna go back up and do that again?"
    Coach: "Nah, hell no." / "Ellis, you're a crazy man." / "You a crazy man, Ellis."

• Seeing dead bodies in the river:
  • "We ain't the only ones that thought to take this short-cut"
  • "Looks like people were heading towards Whispering Oaks."

• Arriving at the entrance of the park:
  • "There she is! Whisperin' Oaks! Man, I had some times there."
  • (Cut prior to The Last Stand update:) "Hm. Lights on, but nobody's home."
    "Well nobody but the zombies."

The Fairgrounds

• In the safe room:
  • Coach: "Hey! The Midnight Riders!" / "Midnight Riders are supposed to play here?"
    Nick: "Never heard of 'em. They any good?"
    Coach: "Hell yes! I got all their albums. Even their new stuff that ain't no good. Best light show in the business, though. / Best backup singers you ever want to hear."
  • Coach: "Hey, the Midnight Riders! I used to love that band. Best pyrotechnics in the business."
    Ellis: "I'll back you up on that. Hell of a show."
  • Coach: [singing] "...Gotta reach for the top, stay on that mountain... dunh-nuh-NAH-nuh-NAH-nha!"
    Ellis: "Stay on That Mountain! First single off their Ten Past Midnight album. I love that song."
    Rochelle: ""Stay on that mountain?" That doesn't sound like very good advice."
  • Coach: [singing] "...Every lady's crazy when her daddy's not around... dunh-nuh-NAH-nuh-NAH-nha!"
    Ellis: "Every Lady's Crazy! Never been recorded, only played live. You know the Riders, Coach."
    Rochelle: "Every lady present's getting a headache."
  • Coach: "Hey! The Midnight Riders!"
    Rochelle: "The Midnight Riders". So...they ride midnight? Or they ride at midnight? I hate classic rock." / "I hate classic rock." / "Who?" / "Midnight Riders? Is this one of those old guy bands?" / "The Midnight Riders… Yeah, I think my dad use to like that band…back in the 18th Century."
  • Coach: "You kiddin' me? They were... were—- nah, not really. They had one good song."

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Man, I loved this place as a kid."
  • "We'll head towards the searchlights. If there's an evac, it'll be there."
    "There's still searchlights on. I'd say that's a good sign."
    "Look, let's just find the corn dog stand and hold out there."

• Entering the lady's restroom:
  • Rochelle: "Umm, guys, this is the lady's room."
    Coach: "Oh. Ahh sorry, Ro." / "Uh, sorry, Ro."

• Walking between the food tents:
  • "Elephant ears... funnel cakes... corn dogs... Man, these signs are bringin' back some memories."
  • "All these signs are making me hungry."
  • "Oh, baby, I could destroy some kettle corn right now."
  • Coach: "I find a Burger Tank in this place? I'm-a be a one-man cheeseburger apocalypse."
    Ellis: "Well, Coach? I aim to let you."
  • Coach: [seeing the Cotton Candy stand] "Cotton Candy. The king of foods." / "Ah yeah. Cotton Candy. The wise pharaoh of food. Sittin' atop the food pyramid, passin' judgment on all lesser foods…"
    (Cut) Rochelle: "Coach, you're making me hungry just listening to you."

• Entering Kiddie Land:
  • Ellis: "Holy shit, guys! KIDDIE LAND!"
    Coach: "Sometimes it feels like we're babysitting, doesn't it?"
    Rochelle: "He is making the best of a bad situation."

• Seeing Li'l Peanut in Kiddie Land:
  • "I was a li'l peanut riding these. This here was my favorite."
  • "That peanut man's got wild, crazy eyes."
    "That peanut's got crazy eyes. They follow ya."
    "I don't like that peanut."
    "I do not like that little peanut."
    "I have never liked that peanut."

• Seeing a Peach Cobbler sign:
  • Coach: "Mmmhmm. Peach cobbler."
    Rochelle: "You can keep the cobbler. All I want is more guns."

• Walking around Kiddie Land:
  • "Once the world goes back to normal? I'm buyin' you guys a steak dinner."
• Finding an empty candy machine:
  • "Damn it. They can't keep a candy machine filled up around here?"

• On top of the slide:
  • "Hey, hey, man... can't go down the slide without your sack."

• Looking at a "You must be this tall" panel:
  • Coach: ""You must be this tall to ride." Well, least there won't be no Jockeys in there."
    Nick: "Nope. Just lots and lots of Tanks."
    Rochelle: "So many Tanks…"
  • Coach: ""You must be this tall to ride." Sorry, Ellis. It's been real, man."
    Ellis: "Ha, ha, ha." / "You keep it up with the height jokes, and I won't."

• Approching the carousel:
  • Coach: "All right, this is gonna open the gate…and what the hell else?"
    Nick: "You know what? Somehow, I think it's gonna activate everything else around here."

• Turning the carousel on:
  • "Ah, damn, the merry-go-round started!"
  • "Shit. That thing's makin' a racket!"
  • "Turn it off, turn the damn thing off!"

• Entering the Tunnel of Love:
  • Coach: "There's the safe room! Everybody in the Tunnel of Love!" / "Get your ass in the Tunnel of Love!" / "Get in the Tunnel of Love!"
    Nick: "Tunnel of love? Jesus Christ."
• "Oh yeah... Tunnel of Love."
  "Come on, get into the Tunnel of Love."

The Coaster

• In safe room:
  • Coach: "Well, looks like we're going through the Tunnel of Love, people. Stay close to me."
    Nick: "I think we should clarify what constitutes "close"."
  • Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air...?"
    Coach: "Coach didn't do too bad for himself back in the day, Nick." / "Nick, I was on the football team. Coach did just fine."
    (Cut) Rochelle: "Damn, Coach. Sounds like you used to be on a diet of cheerleaders." / (Cut) Nick: "Sorry, Coach, you know what I mean."
  • Nick: "Bringing back any memories, Coach? You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air..."
    Coach: "How many Tunnel of Love memories you got, Nick?"
    Nick: "Psh! Huh. Several. Easily."
  • Ellis: "I never once thought a merry-go-round would turn on me. I mean, what is the world comin' to when you dread a merry-go-round?"
    Coach: "This is some crazy-ass world we live in now."
  • "Well, looks like we're going through the Tunnel of Love, people. No hanky panky."

• Exiting the saferoom: "Hey… No smoochin', y'all."

• Going through the Tunnel of Love:
  • Coach: "This water don't look natural..."
    Nick: "Yeah. Don't drink it."
  • Coach: "Back in the day, I had some posters that woulda looked good in this light."

• In one of the maintenance rooms:
  • "Down (this/that) hole!"
  • "All right, let's do this together."
  • "Someone wanna count it off?"

• Reentering the Tunnel of Love from the maintenance area:
  • "I don't remember the Tunnel of Love bein' this long. I musta had something else on my mind."
  • "Hm. Shit. First time I ever couldn't wait to get out of the Tunnel of Love."

• Seeing the helicopter:
  • "There's that chopper (again)!"
  • "There goes the chopper!"

• At The Screaming Oak:
  • Ellis: "We gotta run the coaster? Aw, man, this is gonna be cool!"
    (cut) Coach: "Naw, this ain't gonna be cool. You ain't right in the head, boy."
  • "The only way over is over the coaster."
  • "Get ready to run, I'm hittin it."
  • "This is some crazy-ass world we live in now."
  • "Running the Screamin' Oak... Now don't that beat all..."
  • "We're blocked by the (coaster/Screamin' Oak)."

• Running the Screaming Oak:
  • "We gotta turn that alarm off!"
  • "Somebody turn off that alarm!"
  • "Just keep following the tracks, and we'll get through this!"
  • "Stay on the tracks!"
  • "Turn that shit off."
  • "That set off the alarm!"
  • "That set off the warning system!"
  • "Kill that alarm."

• Cut quote regarding a possible scrapped safe room:
  • "Into the trailer."

The Barns

• Near the bumper cars:
  • "Through the bumper cars!"

• Seeing the helicopter again:
  • "There's that chopper again!"
  • "There goes the chopper!"

• Seeing the stadium:
  • "Let's get inside the stadium, I have an idea!" (commonly)
  • "Let's get into the stadium."
  • "How the hell we gonna get in there?"
  • "There's the Peach Bowl!"
  • "I hear somethin' go on in there!"
  • "Midnight Riders to the rescue!"
  • "We need to signal the chopper!"
  • "I know how we can signal that chopper."
  • "Ellis, you ready to rock?"

• Cut sequence involving a monorail:
  • "If we can get on the monorail, we can jump the fence."
  • "We need to get on the monorail."
  • "Onto the monorail."
  • "Everybody go, go, go. Onto the monorail."
  • "Jump over that fence."

• Entering the barns:
  • "Through the farm hall."
  • "Through the farm exhibits."

• At the stadium gate:
  • "We can get into the stadium through here!"
  • "Into the stadium!"

The Concert

• In the safe room:
  • Coach: "Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They're gonna save us."
    Ellis: "Coach, I hate to break it to ya, but I don't think they're actually here."
    Coach: "We set off their finale, that chopper pilot's gonna know something's up. Because nobody, and I mean nobody, has a bigger pyrotechnic show than the Midnight Riders."
    Nick: "Coach, that is about the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with."/Ellis: "Coach, you are a brilliant man."
    Coach: "Alright then, everybody grab a weapon and let's move!" / "Then let's do it. Everybody grab a weapon and let's go!"
  • Coach: "Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They're gonna save us."
    Ellis: "Coach, I hate to break it to ya, but I don't think they're actually here."
    Coach: "We set off their finale, that chopper pilot's gonna know something's up. Because nobody, and I mean nobody, has a bigger light show than the Midnight Riders."
    Nick: "Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR."
  • Coach: "Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They gonna save us. We start their finale, that chopper is gonna know something's up. Because nobody - and I mean nobody - has a bigger light show than the Midnight Riders."
    Ellis: "And that'll signal the chopper pilot! This is gonna be like the fourth time the Midnight Riders have saved my life." / Rochelle: "Huh. That's pretty smart, Coach."
    Nick: "Unless someone has a better idea, let's rock."
  • Coach: "Y'all know the Midnight Riders? They gonna save us. We start their finale, that chopper is gonna know something's up. Because nobody - and I mean nobody - has a bigger light show than the Midnight Riders."
    Rochelle: "And that'll signal the chopper pilot! Coach, that's brilliant! I'm sorry about all the bad stuff I said about your crappy band."
  • Coach: "I know how we can signal that chopper. (Cut: First we do a quick check around for corn dogs. (Nah, I'm just playin'.)) First we look for supplies. Then we start the Midnight Rider finale. It's all kinds of fireworks, smokepots, and lights and shit. That chopper pilot can't miss it. Ellis, you ready to rock?"
    Ellis: "I was born ready. So... yes." / "I always wanted to run to a helicopter during a guitar solo. Just like in a music video."
    Coach: "Then let's do it. Everybody grab a weapon, and let's go."
  • Coach: "I know how we can signal that chopper. First we look for supplies. Then we start the Midnight Rider finale. It's all kinds of fireworks, smokepots, and lights and shit. That chopper pilot can't miss it."
    Ellis: "So we gotta setup to rock, then fight zombies? What next? Dinosaurs flying down from the sky and shooting lasers out of their eyes?" / "So we gotta setup to rock, then fight zombies? This is the best day of my life!"
  • Coach: "Okay, here's the plan. It's been a long time since I seen the Riders, but if their finale's the same, that'll signal the chopper pilot. We just need to start it."
    Ellis: "I'm in. Let's rock and roll." / Nick: "Coach, that is the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with."
    Coach: "Then let's do it. Everybody grab a weapon, and let's go."
  • (Cut responses) "Midnight Rider's finale? That'll alert the goddamn chopper."
  • "These zombies better be ready to rock."
  • "I love the Riders. Nobody has a bigger finale than them. All we need to do is start it up, and the chopper pilot's sure as hell gonna see us."

• At the stage
  • "There's the stage."
  • "Turn on the lights!"
  • "Cue the finale!"
  • "Hit the lights!"
  • "We need more lights!"

• (Cut)
  • "How do we start the finale?"
  • "We have to figure out how to turn all this stuff on."
  • "We need to start the finale!"

• Approaching the microphone
  • "[singing] ...Gotta reach for the top, stay on that mountainnnn... dunh-nuh-NAH-nuh-NAH-nha!"
  • "[singing] ...Every lady's crazy when your daddy's not around... dunh-nun-Nah-nuh-NAH-nha!"

• About to start the finale
  • "Start the finale!"
  • "Well ain't this a bitch, they got a tape for their music. To think I used to like these guys."
  • "Lip syncing old ass bitches, they got a tape back here."
    Ellis: "That don't matter. I could never hear the music over the pyrotechnics anyway." / "Lots of bands lip sync. Ain't nothing wrong with saving your vocal cords for the studio."
  • "There's a tape back here, this is all setup for the finale."
  • "The Rider's have their finale all cued up back here."
  • "When I hit this tape deck, it's all gonna start. Get ready!"
  • "This tape's gonna start the finale! Get ready!"
  • "This is gonna be good!"
  • "When we start this tape, it's gonna be on. So get ready!"
  • "When we start this tape, get ready! The music's gonna be incredibly good, but try to focus."
  • "Get ready to rock, I'm gonna start the finale!"
  • "Finale's on! Get ready to rock!"

• During a song
  • "Louder!"
  • "MORE! MORE! WE NEED MORE!"
  • "ROCK IT OUT!"
  • "Woooo! Midnight Riders RUUUUULE!"
  • "I love you, Midnight Riders!"
  • "I love this song! I love ALL these notes!"
  • "Come on Midnight Riders!"
  • "This music IS GREAT!"
  • "I forgot how much I like this song!"
  • "They nailed this damn song!"
  • "I ain't normally a rock music man, but damn I love the Riders!"
  • "Turn it up, I love this part!"
  • "Turn it up!"

• When the chopper arrives
  • "The chopper saw us!"
  • "The chopper's coming!"
  • "The Midnight Riders saved us!"
  • "All right, Midnight Riders!"
  • "It's working!"
  • "I'll be damned! Even I didn't think that was gonna happen!"
  • "I'll be damned! Even I didn't think that was gonna work!"
  • "Kill the Tank so he can land!"
  • "We gotta kill the Tank before he lands!"
  • "You heard the man! Kill the Tank!"

Swamp Fever

Plank Country

• Intro:
  • "Anyone check where we were before we went down?" / "Where in the hell are we?"
  • Coach: "No CEDA, No Military. Stay out."
    Nick: "This looks like a friendly place. They probably should have added no zombies to that sign." / Rochelle: "Well, we aren't CEDA or the military, so I guess we're welcome."
  • Coach: "No CEDA, No Military. Stay out."
    Rochelle: "When they say stay out, I'm sure they mean someone else."
    Ellis: "Well, that ain't very friendly."
    Nick: "Great, we crash land in front of a village that hates everyone."
  • Coach: "That was the first time I was in a helicopter. I always imagined it with less zombies."
    Ellis: "OOOH man, that was some crazy shit. Nick, you are a man of action! ... Where the hell are we?"
    Nick: "I can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
    Rochelle: "He was flying the helicopter!"
  • Coach: "Man, that was some shit, the pilot becoming a zombie right before our eyes. Nice shooting, Nick."
    Nick: "No problem, big guy, sorry about the landing."
    Ellis: "Guess our crash was so soft cause we landed in the swamp..." / Coach: "Ahhh, I've had worse landings. Actually, that's a lie to spare your feelings. That crash was pretty bad."
  • Ellis: "Nick, what the hell, you shot the pilot!"
    Nick: "Well, he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie now was he?"
    Coach: "That's true. If I had a pick a low point in the flight, it was probably when he stopped flying the chopper and attacked us."
    Rochelle: "Anyone know where we are?"
  • Coach: "You know what? No more helicopters. I'm just saying that now. I'm good."
    Coach: "Shit, that pilot just changed. One minute he was flying us to safety, the next he was... well... I am pretty damn sure he was trying to eat us."
    Nick: "I can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
    Coach: "Next time someone wants to shoot our pilot, can I get a little warning?"
  • Coach: "No CEDA, No Military. Stay out. I can see their point."
    Ellis: "I'm just gonna say it. I don't like the swamp."
    Coach: "I don't think anyone likes the swamp."
  • Coach: "No CEDA, No Military. Stay out."
    Nick: "This looks like a friendly place."
    Coach: "Come on now, if I was having a cookout, I ain't invitin' CEDA either."

• Searching the houses
  • "Anything in those houses?"
  • "I ain't a prejudiced man, but-livin' in a swamp? That's sorta crazy.

• Entering the swamp
  • "Stay on the walk ways."
  • Rochelle: "Stay on the walkway!"
    Coach: "Yeah, don't wander off." / "Girl's got the right idea."

• Seeing the "Do not feed the gators" sign:
  • Coach: "Do not feed the gators."
    Ellis: "I had no plans on feeding the gators." / "I had no plans on feeding the gators, thank you very much."

• Approaching the river on the ferry:
  • "I normally stay the hell away from swamps on principle. You remember that movie with that golfer that got his hand ate by a gator? That shit's real. Hell, sometimes it's best to find out what you don't know."
  • "Man, when you forced to turn to people livin' in a swamp to help you get out of the city. I don't think CEDA is doing their job right."
    • Rochelle: "Yeah, let's just cut through the gator park and visit the crazy militants in the swamp. Sound good?"
    • Coach: "Nah, that don't sound good at all." / "I've seen that movie, it don't end well." / Ellis: "Well, when you put it like that, hell no."
  • Ellis: "All right, Coach, you got anything inspirational to say as we enter into the swamps?"
    • Coach: "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil."
    • Ellis: "All right, all right, kinda hopin' you wouldn't get all biblical on me." / "Okay, kinda hopin' you weren't gonna get all fire and brimstone on me." / "Yeah? I'm walking through that valley kickin' (some) ass." / Nick: "Wow, Coach, that was uplifting." / "Well, Coach, that was uplifting. Everybody else motivated now?" / "Thanks, Coach, that was uplifting."
    • Coach: "Nick, we're goin into a swamp filled with zombies. Y'all want me to lie to ya?"
    • Nick: "Yes."
  • Ellis: "Hey Nick, I used to have a suit just like yours."
    • Nick: "You did? Really?" / "What you? Really?"
    • Ellis: "Oh yeah, when I had first holy communion in the second grade. (I don't think it fits anymore.)"
    • Nick: "Pffft."
    • Coach: "Nick, don't pay no attention to that boy." / "Heh, all right. Look at you, young'un, givin' Nick some shit right back." / "Look at you, young'un, givin' Nick some shit.

• Approaching the safe room:
  • Coach: "Into the drainage ditch."
    Rochelle: "That's an encouraging sign, they have power."

The Swamp

• In the safe room:
  • "Man. When you're forced to turn to people livin' in a swamp to help you get out of a city? I don't think CEDA's doing their job right."

• In the swamp:
  • "This swamp shit's gettin' old."
  • Ellis: "That's a nice pirogue." / "Over the tree by the pirogue."
    Rochelle: "A pirogue?"
    Ellis: "You don't know what a pirogue is?"
    Coach: "Ellis, it's just a boat."
    Ellis: "(Ha-ha/Yeah.) Very funny."

• Discovering the parachutist:
  • "Shit, why would you ever jump out of a plane?"

• Discovering the plane wreckage:
  • "All right, now I understand why you would jump out of a plane."
  • "Looks like we weren't the only people crashing today."
  • "Nick, you didn't shoot this pilot too did you?"

• About to open the emergency door:
  • "We gotta open this door."
  • "You know an alarm will sound when we open this."
  • "Everyone geared up?"
  • "This here is gonna set off an alarm, get ready."

• Approaching the village:
  • "Hello!"
  • "Anyone there?!"
  • "Lights are on!"
  • "Anyone home!"
  • "Swamp people, we comin' home!"
  • "I wonder if they got dinner cookin'?"

Shanty Town

• In the safe room:
  • "They headed to the river, sounds like a good idea."
  • Ellis: "Shit, man. They didn't make it."
    Coach: "It did not end well for these people." / "All right, this just makes me sad."
  • Nick: "The swamp people didn't make it."
    Ellis: "Looks like they all headed off to a plantation."
    Coach: "Might as well head there as well." / "I don't want to stay here, let's follow 'em."
  • Nick: "This is ugly."
    Coach: "I don't want to think that, but I gotta agree."

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Careful lookin' for supplies, show respect."
  • "I don't think they'd mind if we look for supplies."

• Exiting the swamp:
  • "I think we're at the end of the swamp."

The Plantation

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Let's find the big house."
  • "Search these houses."

• Arriving at the house:
  • "There's the house!"

• Inside the house:
  • "Let's try the radio."

• Talking to Virgil:
  • Coach: "I'm gonna try callin' someone. Anyone out there? / Can anyone hear me?"
    Virgil: "Who dat there? How is y'all are? Where you at?" (or similar responses)
    Coach: "Shit, we're at the plantation house." / "We're at the big house."
    (Cut:) Virgil: "Now how many of y'all is there?" (or similar responses)
    Coach: (depending on the survivors left) "Only a couple of us made it." / "We are a party of four." / "There ain't nothin' but four of us left." / "Look, what difference does it make?" / "Shit man, four of us, come pick us up." / "Three of us left." / "Only two of us." / "Just me."
    Virgil: "All right now, stay right where you is. I'll come for ya." (or similar responses)
    Coach: "Don't worry, we're stayin' put." / "Oh you know we'll be here. We ain't got any other pressin' engagements." / "You show up and we'll be here." / "I hear ya." / "Roger that."

• The gate opens:
  • "Oh shit! Gate open!"
  • "That's my kind of guy, let's go!"
  • "Gate's open, let's go!"
  • "Our Cajun friend opened the gate!"
  • "Get on the boat!"
  • "Run to the boat!"
  • "Everyone onto the boat!"
  • "Get your asses on the boat!"

Hard Rain

Milltown

• [Intro] Virgil: "Now I'll throw the anchor just off the shore, waitin' for ya. Signal at me when you get the gas." (or similar responses)
  • Rochelle: "Okay. This should be easy. We just need to grab some diesel."
    Nick: "You wanna hear a prediction?"
    Coach and Ellis: "No!"
    Nick: "There's not gonna be any gas. Watch."
    Coach: "Don't jinx us, Nick."
  • Nick: "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
    Ellis: "Oh, there's flares in the gun bag."
    Nick: "What gun bag?"
    Ellis: "You didn't grab the guns?"
    Nick: "Me? Who died and made me gun monitor?"
    Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
    Nick: "Great, we are screw-"
    Coach: "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on." (2 versions)
  • Coach: "We should be in and out here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we just, uh... um... aw, hell. Tell me someone brought the gun bag..."
    Nick: "You didn't grab the guns?"
    Rochelle: "I can tell you someone named Ellis was supposed to grab the gun bag, but.. I would be lying."
    Ellis: "Why didn't you grab 'em?"
    Nick: "Me? Who died and made me gun monitor?"
    Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
    Coach: "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on." (2 versions)
  • Nick: "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
    Ellis: "Oh, there's flares in the gun bag."
    Coach: "What gun bag? Oh for... Tell me we didn't forget the guns!"
    Ellis: "Why didn't you grab them?"
    Nick: "Me? Who died and made me gun monitor?"
    Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
    Nick: "The gas station's right across the street. Let's just get the gas and then we'll figure out how to signal Virgil."
  • Coach: "We should be in and out here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we just, uh... um... aw, hell. Tell me someone brought the gun bag..."
    Ellis: "Why didn't you grab 'em?"
    Coach: "Me? I told Nick to grab the guns!" / "Look, I'm a generously proportioned man! Gettin' off a rockin' boat takes concentration!"
    Nick: "Me? Who died and made me gun monitor?"
    Ellis: "Pretty much everybody."
    Nick: "Great, we are screw-"
    Coach: "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on." (2 versions)
  • Nick: "Do we trust that guy to come back?"
    Coach: "Don't think we got much choice in the matter." / "He's good people."
    Nick: "Fair enough, but you're the first three people in the world I have ever trusted."
    Rochelle: "Well, I don't know if _____ trust to you. So what would I know?"
    Nick: "In that case, I think your judgement on that opinion is matters."
    Coach: "Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on." (2 versions)
  • Coach: "I sure wish the Burger Tank was open. I could go for a BBQ bacon burger. And a large order of fries, and... An orange soda with no ice, and a... piece of hot apple pie."
    Rochelle: "Personally, I'm a high fructose corn syrup woman myself." / Nick: "Sure. I will deep-fry you an entire goddamn cow."
    Coach: "Goddamn I miss Burger Tank." / (To Nick) "Hell yeah! Haha!" Nick: "I was joking, Coach." / "I can't believe you fell for that."

• Seeing the "Out of Gas" sign:
  • "Outta gas. Shit."
  • "Let's head to this Ducatel Diesel."
  • "Let's just get this done and head back."
  • Rochelle: "Next gas: two miles. Well, shit."
    Coach: "Let's head to this Ducatel diesel."
    Nick: "What makes you think they have gas?" / "Three miles? Shit, it's starting to rain too."
    Coach: "Because if they don't, we gonna be stuck here forever, Nick." / "Storm's come up fast, but I think we should make it."
  • Nick: "No gas. Terrific. This is just great."
    Coach: "All right, quit whinin'. We just gotta hike to this Ducatel diesel."

• Starting to rain:
  • "It's startin' to rain."
  • "All right, let's hustle, people. Storms come up quick around here."
  • "Aw hell. Looks like a bad storm's comin."

• Walking down the streets:
  • "Through that/this playground!"
  • "Through these houses."
  • "Down this street."
  • "Alright. Keep your eyes open for landmarks. We gonna have to come back through here."
  • "Now, try to remember where the ammo dumps're at. We might need some on the way back."
  • (Cut) Rochelle: "Looks like the infection hit mid evacuation. I prefer to call it the infection instead of the zombie apocalypse."
    Nick: "Right, except for all the zombies."
    Rochelle: "I don't know, zombie apocalypse - it's still kind of hard to swallow."
    Coach: "Shit. All these zombies should help you swallow."
    Rochelle: "Yeah, there sure are a lot of zombies."

• Seeing a truck wreck:
  • "That's a nasty damn wreck."

• Arriving at the safe room:
  • "There's the mill."
  • "There's the sugar mill!"

The Sugar Mill

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Road's blocked."
  • "We gotta head through the sugar mill."
  • "So we gotta get past the sugar mill."

• As the rain intensifies:
  • "Hurry up, people. We don't wanna get stuck out here in a storm."
  • "If this rain really comes, we gonna get washed away."
  • "Water's starting to pool. We gotta move!"
  • "Look, it's already starting to flood."
  • "We already got plague. Maybe the Lord'll let us slide on the flood."
  • "People, if this rain really comes, we gonna be in trouble."
  • "Storm's startin' to kick up."
  • "We gotta hurry."
  • "Come on people, let's do this before the storm hits."

• Going through the mill:
  • "Whole lotta Witches round here."
  • "Lotta damn Witches up in this place."
  • "More Witches!"
  • "Maybe the rain brings 'em out."
  • "All these pale-assed crazy ladies are gettin' on my last nerve."
  • "What the hell do they got to cry about? We're the ones getting attacked."
  • "Bitches every ten feet in this goddamn place."

• Hurrying through the mill:
  • "Go! Go! Go!"
  • "Let's keep moving."
  • "Just keep going."
• Seeing the puddle of water:
  • "First the plague, now the flood. I feel like I should be buildin' an ark."
  • "First the plague, now the flood. I think somebody's trying to tell us something."
• Seeing the gas station sign:
  • "There's the gas station! Through the cane field!"
  • "We can take that elevator down to the field."
  • "Somebody hit the elevator button."

• When the elevator arrives:
  • "ELEVATOR'S HERE!"
  • "GET IN!"
  • "EVERYBODY IN THE ELEVATOR!"
  • "GET YOUR ASSES IN THE ELEVATOR!"
  • "Hit the button again."

• Going through the cane field:
  • "Through the cane fields!"
  • "Dang. Bitches must like sugar."
  • "KEEP MOVING! HEAD FOR THE SIGN!"
  • "HEAD TOWARD THE SIGN!"
  • "KEEP MOVING!"

• Arriving at the gas station:
  • "Says there's gas inside."
  • "Gas inside."
  • "Cool. Let's go get it."
  • "Pump's empty. Let's check inside."
  • "There's gas in the safe room!"

• Inside the safe room:
  • "Close the door and let's get the gas."
  • "Close the door and we can bust the cans outta this locker."

Mill Escape

• In the safe room:
  • Coach: "All right, people. Everybody got a can?" (or similar responses from the other survivors)
    Coach: "I got one." / "Yup." (or similar responses from the other survivors)
    Coach: "Back to the boat, people." / "Let's head back to the boat." / "We got our shit, let's get back to the boat."(or similar responses from the other survivors)

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "Getting' back to the boat ain't gonna be as easy as gettin' here."
  • "I told ya these storms come up quick."
  • "Damn. It's really stormin' now."
  • "It is coming down."

• Going through the field:
  • "Retrace our steps! Head through the field!"

• Walking through the flooded mill:
  • "This is flooding."
  • "It's all flooded."
  • "Goddamn this is slow going."
  • "This shit's worse than the swamp."
  • "Back the way we came."
  • "I am not dying in a goddamn sugar mill."
  • "This looks familiar. We're going the right way!"
  • "I remember that. We're headed the right way!"
  • "The whole damn place is flooded."
  • "This place is under water."
  • "All that sugar... It's a damn shame."
  • "All that sugar... it's a goddamn tragedy, is what it is."
  • "Get to high ground!"

• Getting in the elevator:
  • "Get in the elevator!"
  • "We can take the elevator back up!"

• During a storm:
  • "SQUALL'S STARTIN', PEOPLE!"
  • "STORM COMIN'!"
  • "STICK TOGETHER!"
  • "Can't see two feet. Shit."
  • "Can't see a goddamn thing."

• Back on the road:
  • "There's the sign. We're almost outta the mill."

Return to Town

• In the safe room:
  • "Town's flooded."
  • "Damn, I'm all turned around now."
  • "I think it's raining even harder now."

• Walking down the streets:
  • "I can't see shit."
  • "I can't see shit in this rain."
  • "Come on, let's find a place to hide while this blows over."
  • "Try sticking to the dry ground."
  • "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
  • "Man, I ain't ever gonna be dry."

• Going the right way:
  • "We passed these lights on the way in!"
  • "I remember that porch light."
  • "There's that busted up truck."
  • "The yard sale! We're goin' the right way!"
  • "There's the playground! We're close!"
  • "I remember this place from the way in."

Town Escape

• In the safe room:
  • Coach: "Let's go, almost back to the boat."
    Nick: "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
    Coach: "If we fire up the Burger Tank sign, Virgil might see it." / "We can use the Burger Tank sign to signal him."
    Ellis: "Sounds like a plan." / Rochelle: "All right, sounds like a plan." / Nick: "It's worth a shot."
  • Coach: "Let's go, almost back to the boat."
    Nick: "What are we supposed to signal him with?"
    Ellis: "Hey, what if we turn on the Burger Tank sign?"
    Rochelle: "Yeah, that might work." / "All right, sounds like a plan."

• Arriving at the Burger Tank:
  • "Burger Tank! Oh, we made it!"
  • "I have never been so happy to see a Burger Tank! And believe me, I have been happy to see some Burger Tanks!"
  • "Let's do it."
  • "Fire up the sign!"

• Firing up the sign:
  • "The sign's lit!"
  • "Please be watchin', Virgil."
  • "I knew Burger Tank wouldn't let us down."
  • "Burger Tank to the rescue!"

• Cut sequence where the sign would need a survivor to restart it:
  • "THE SIGN'S OUT!"
  • "COME ON. GET THE SIGN GOIN' AGAIN!"

• When Virgil arrives:
  • "He's back! Let's go!"
  • "He came back, everyone to the boat!"
  • "LOOK UP THERE! VIRGIL SEES US!"
  • "THERE'S VIRGIL!"
  • "GET TO THE BOAT!"

The Parish

The Waterfront

• Intro:
  • Virgil: "This is as far as I go, but you can make it to the bridge from here." (or similar responses)
    Ellis: "Thanks, brother!"
    Virgil: "Good luck, now! I'm gonna go look for other survivors!" (or similar responses)
    Coach: "We made it REAL damn far, people. I'm proud of you. Now let's just cross that last mile."
  • Virgil: "This is as far as I go, but you can make it to the bridge from here." (or similar responses)
    Coach: "Thanks, Virgil. You stay safe, brother."
    Virgil: "Good luck to ya! Y'all take care now." (or similar responses)
    Coach: "We're almost home free, people."
    Nick: "Yeah, well, seeing the bridge and getting to it are two different things."
  • Virgil: "This is as far as I go, but you can make it to the bridge from here." (or similar responses)
    Ellis: "Thank you Virgil. You're a good man, and you got helluva boat."
    Virgil: "Good luck, now! I'm gonna go look for other survivors!" (or similar responses)
    Rochelle: "There's the bridge. You sure they're going to be there?"
    Coach: "Oh yeah. Our goal is right next to the bridge, ON THE OTHER MOTHER F'IN' SIDE OF THE WATER!"
  • Virgil: "This is as far as I go, but you can make it to the bridge from here." (or similar responses)
    Coach: "Thanks, Virgil. You stay safe, brother."
    Virgil: "Good luck to ya! Y'all take care now." (or similar responses)
    Coach: "All right people, let's get to that bridge."
    Nick: "You mean that blurry line on the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves here."
  • Virgil: "This is as far as I go, but you can make it to the bridge from here." (or similar responses)
    Nick: "You're all right, Virgil."
    Virgil: "Good luck to ya! Y'all take care now." (or similar responses)
    Ellis: "See ya later, Virgil."
    Coach: "We've been through hell getting here. Now we're at the last mile. Let's make this count!"

• Seeing the jets:
  • Coach: "They're still flying jets!"
    Nick: "You don't evacuate people in fighter jets..." / "I've got a bad feeling about that/this."
  • Coach: "All right, military's still here!"
    Nick: "I wonder if that's good news..." / Rochelle: "I'm gonna take that as a good sign."
    Coach: [Only if Nick responded to the earlier] "It means they haven't abandoned New Orleans. C'mon, let's move!"

• Looking at signs:
  • "This shit says: Use of deadly force authorized. It sure is."
  • "Use of deadly force authorized. All right. Shit. It sure is."
  • "No unauthorized entry."
  • "Infected detected in this area. No shit."
  • "Report unusual behavior."
  • Coach: "Infected detected in this area."
    Nick: "Really? I haven't seen any."

• Walking past a bar:
  • Ellis: "Oh, I could go for a cold one right about now."
    Coach: "Oh yeah!" / "Positively." / "For sure."
  • [Alternate] Rochelle: "Does anyone know how to make a hurricane? A Zombie?"
    Coach: "What?"
    Rochelle: "They're drinks! Seriously."

The Park

• Exiting the safe room:
  • "C'mon, let's head through the park!"

• Looking at signs and graffiti:
  • "Highly contagious area. Hm-mm. It sure is."
  • "Where is CEDA?"
  • "Where is CEDA? Zombified."
  • "Where is CEDA? Good question, where in the hell is CEDA? Cause I'd like to shoot some of their asses."
  • "Form orderly line."
  • "Restricted area."
  • "Contaminated."
  • "Quarantine."
  • "Warning."
  • "Army equals lies. Huh."
  • "Quarantine zone. No unauthorized admittance."
  • "Stay in your group. That's what I keep sayin'."
  • Coach: "Report the sick."
    Ellis: "Report the sick?"
    Rochelle: "Don't worry Ellis, they mean the flu, not in the head."
  • Coach: "Photography prohibited."
    Ellis: "What the hell's picture gonna do?"
• Reading the sign in the trailer
  • "WARNING: Alarm will sound if door is opened before clearence from tower."
  • Nick: "As soon as the door opens, get ready to run."
    Coach: "Gotta agree with that."

• Going through the bus station:
  • "Through the bus station!"

• Walking past the freeway:
  • Coach: "Look, that freeway's headin' right to our bridge."
    Nick: "Let's follow it."
  • Nick: "That freeway looks like it heads to the bridge."
    Coach: "All right, then, let's follow it!"

The Cemetery

• Looking at dead bodies inside the safe room:
  • Coach: "These ain't zombies. Somebody's been shootin' people."
    Nick: "Somebody? Christ, Coach, you know who did this."
    Coach: "I don't know shit. We gonna keep movin'."
  • Nick: "Jesus. These are people! They were shooting people. I told you I had a bad feeling about this."
    Coach: "How does bein' so right feel, Nick?"
    Nick: "Not good."
  • Coach: "These ain't zombies. Somebody's been shootin' people."
    Ellis: "People shootin' people? That shit ain't right, man."
• Exiting the safe room:
  • "This freeway's gotta hook up with the bridge."
  • "We just gotta get to the bridge."
  • (Cut) "Army abandoned this neighborhood."
  • (Cut) "Look, we're outside the safe zone. We gonna have to find a way back in."

• Looking at signs and graffitis:
  • "No entry beyond this point."
  • "Photography prohibited."
  • "Caution."
  • (Cut) Coach: "Report unusual behavior. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Arm yourself. Barricade your homes. Stay together. Wait for official instructions. Wait my ass."
    Ellis: "Kill all the sons of bitches, that's my official instructions."
  • "Hide. Hide? Pussies."
  • "Shoot them in the head. Don't mind if I do."
  • "There was some kinda war goin' on out here."
  • Coach: "I hope those hash marks mean zombies."
    Nick: "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."
  • Nick: "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
    Coach: "Man, I hope not."

• Viewing the downed helicopter:
  • "Zombies didn't bring down that chopper."

• About to enter the sewer:
  • Coach: "Everybody in the sewer." / "Nick! Good news - we're going down into this sewer."
    Nick: "Oh, Christ, not the sewer." / "I am not climbing into... Ah, screw it. Let's go."
  • Coach: "Man, Nick, you picked a bad day to wear your white suit."
    Nick: "Tell me about it."

• Entering the Impound Lot:
  • "Alarms everywhere, people. Watch yourselves."
  • "Everybody, take it slow now."
  • "Move careful, watch your fire, and we'll be just fine."

• If a survivor keeps shooting the cars:
  • "Would you stop shooting the goddamn cars?!"
  • "Stop shooting the goddamn cars!"

• Getting on the freeway:
  • "We did it, people! We're on the bridge! We're almost outta this place!"

• When a jet bombs the freeway:
  • "MOTHERF-"
  • "MOTHERF- GODDAMN."

• About to enter the cemetery:
  • "All right. Shit. Nobody panic. We gonna head down and find another way up onto the bridge."
    Nick: "You sure we shouldn't just panic? I mean, I think panic was invented for just this sort of situation."
    Coach: "Get your ass movin', Nick."
  • "All right. Shit. Nobody panic. We gonna head down and find another way up onto the bridge."
    Ellis: "I guess we're gonna have to visit that graveyard. Man, if these were real zombies, going into this graveyard would be like death."
  • Nick: "They're blowing this bridge to cover their retreat. If we wanna to go with them, we better hurry."
    Coach: "I heard that, let's move."

The Quarter

• When a building gets bombed:
  • "Man, they're lighting up this whole place. We gotta get to the bridge."
  • "Stop bombing us!"
  • "Shit!"
  • "Damn! That one was close!"
  • "Shit! Damn, that one was close!"

• Arriving at the bridge safe room:
  • "There's the bridge!"
  • "There's a safe room in the bridge!"
  • "There's a safe room in it!"

The Bridge

• Inside the safe room:
  • Nick: "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
    Coach: "No." / "Nah. We good."
    Nick: "All right, let's go."
  • Coach: "All right, all right, all right. We gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
    Nick: "Or, they're gonna line us up against a wall and shoot us."
    Coach: "Well, you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
    Nick: "Okay, all right, let's go."

• Hearing military radio chatter:
  • "Those sound like soldiers! Somebody talk to 'em."
  • "Somebody pick up the radio."

• Contacting the military via radio:
  • Coach: "Hello!"
    Military: "Rescue 7, that's coming from the bridge! -- Last Buzzard, stand down! Stand down!"
    Military: "Bridge, who is this? / identify yourself."
    Coach: "Hey! There's four of us on the bridge!"
    Military: "Bridge, are you immune?"
    Coach: "We are not infected."
    Military: "Negative Bridge. Are you immune? Have you encountered the infected?"
    Coach: "Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood, puke, eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as shit!
    Military: "Rescue Seven, are you equipped for carriers?" -- "Affirmative, Papa Gator." -- "Bridge, we have pulled that sector out of friendlies. Your only remaining pickup is available on the other end of the bridge. Our last chopper is leaving in ten minutes. You need to lower the span and get across the bridge. (God be with you.)"
    Military: "Be advised, the bridge is crawling with the infected / Whiskey Delta."
    Coach: "I hear ya, man. See ya soon." / "We gotcha. We used to that shit by now." / "Wind up the chopper, because here we come." / "We're on our way."
    Military: "Good luck, bridge!"
    Coach: "Once it's down, Let's go!"

• Reviving a survivor on the bridge:
  • "Man, you are too close. We are not gonna die here."
  • "We are too close. I am not gonna let you die here."
  • "We walked through a world of shit to get here! We are not gonna die now! We are not gonna die now!"
  • (To Rochelle) "Girl, I am not gonna let you die here."

• If a Tank is pursuing Coach on the bridge:
  • "You want to test me? I been through hell to get to here! You are not the one to take me down!"
  • "We walked through a world of shit to get here! I am not gonna die now! I am not gonna die now!"

Additional Community Lines

• "What 'n the hell is that? A bomb?
• "Come on, guys, push that thing!"
• "Gotta' get on that cart!"
• "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'"
• "There's a military base just south of here. Last i've heard they were still evacuating"
• "Damn, sure it's cold out here!"
• "Goddamn, it's cold!"
• "Just as many infected AND the snow."
• "What is this place?"
• "Anyone know how to fly this thing?"
• "Shit, looks like it's gonna be a one hell of a night."
• "That helipad looks mighty-windy"
• "Man, this shit's worse than teaching health class!"
• "Everyone to the train station!"
• "Shit, all aboard!"
• "All aboard!"
• "I don't know about this boulder trap."